7 THINGS SUBWAY SURFERS TAUGHT ME ABOUT LIFE

You know the game subway surfers right? I freaking love the game...who wouldn't? Abeg I'd rather have a cop chase me on tarred roads than have those nameless beasts in temple run chase me... Have you seen those temple run roads? Jagged and broken in half; so difficult to run on. The Governor of the temple run kingdom has to be worse than all the Nigerian governors put together. Now to my point, I would say I have a pretty analytic mind. So while people see stuff and let them pass, I tend to get a couple of insights off the situation.
I play subway surfers almost everyday and on an occasion, I just began to see it from a different perspective; like it was a lesson. Lessons are there to be learnt right? I likened it to life as a race.

    Firstly, there really isn't a major goal...like a trophy or something. Well, apart from Heaven which applies to only Christians. So it's like you're just there to live right; be fast and be consistent. Being careless can be disastrous and just somehow, life gets tougher as you go on, no matter how much you achieve. However, there are never-ending goals and missions. It's like every milestone is a stepping stone.

   Secondly, those mystery boxes and pop-up trophies taught me that life in itself has pop-up bonuses that are there to spice up your life no matter how bad things are. They might not have any adverse effect when not taken but could mean a whole lot if taken. For instance, when you lose a mystery box, it takes nothing away from you but if you take it, you just might have yourself stuff as little as  2 hoverboards (which ofcourse are lifesavers) or as much as 5000 coins or a megastart.

     Thirdly, Don't lose all for nothing. In as much as you want to grab those pretty lil trophies etc, see if making that move may cost you the race. Sometimes, we wanna make a quick grab and then we just crash.
Discernment is vital in the act of living. Take the super sneakers for example, they are so awesome they make you feel like a bird. You get to jump so high and far that you forget that you have no control of the height or distance of the jump. So sometimes you jump right into a moving train. Sweethearts, sometimes when things are too good to be true, it's a warning to be careful. You don't wanna lose everything for a some spur-of-the-moment excitement.

     Fourth, Learn from your mistakes. Ideally, a mistake made once should not be made again. Sometimes, the surfer makes a move and crashes into a train or trips and falls. Nobody expects the same thing to happen in another race. Mistakes shouldn't be habits. Always try to know what it is you did wrong and how you can avoid such. Learning from your setbacks and actions always makes you a better you.

      Fifth, You are always being chased. Never be at ease. See that cop and his dog, they represent the bad guys that are always after you. Nobody has a trouble free life; it's either people from your village or those at work or random onlookers. Your bad guys may even be inanimate challenges. There's someone after that position of yours at work or in class and so you have to put in your best at every point in time. Sometimes you think nobody's after you and you relax but that's when you have to tread carefully. It's funny how the surfers run swiftly without any sign of the cop and make one teeny mistake and boom!!! There's the dude and that bingo of his.


     Sixth, Always have  a fall back plan. That's why I happily spend my coins on those hoverboards. They are amazingly safe. You crash but don't die, can you beat that? Many people in reality live their lives and acquire so much without so much as a thought as to what happens if the crash. There's only one word for it: FOLLY. The good book says ' In all your getting, get wisdom' and there is no better way to put it. Always have something that'll cushion the effect of a bad fall... It could be an insurance policy, an investment or even a hoverboard.

     Seventh, Enjoy yourself. Why do you try to gather all those coins when you run if you won't use them. Once I have an abundance of coins, I do something nice like get the surfer a new look or but a new hoverboard or enhance my super skills. That's how life should be. Your race might be cut short at any time so take your time to enjoy the essence of your possessions and achievements. However, it is always wise to spend wisely!

There are so many other things subway surfers taught me but unfortunately, I'll do you the favor of not letting you know cuz many of you might have short reading spans and my aim is to please and not to bore. Try to learn a lesson from every and any thing. There's a lesson in every laughter, cry, song, game, cackle, babble or even dance. Take some time to be quiet in the midst of the chaos and the excitement and draw out the stories or lessons from every element. Life is more than an act, it is an art.
  Btw, I've been having a hard time beating my high score which is 537 300. Just so you know. *grins*

xoxo,
Nazzy

THE PRODIGAL BLOGGER AND RANDOM TALK

I know! Don't stone me, it wasn't intentional. I'd never abandon my blog and readers for no just cause. Lemme spare you all the excuses. Pele my people. Feel free to call me the prodigal blogger. The only difference is dat there's no welcome party here. I was expecting new clothes from you guys and a party. After all, that is what people who run away from home deserve. That prodigal son must have had a blast that day oooh!

I have been busy working as an intern at Citibank and it has been awesome. The other interns are on point. My colleagues are cool as well. As for Lagos, dat na anoda tory. To start with, I dunno why I should be in Lagos and have any dull moments so if you are in Lagos, raise up your hand!

I'm glad I'm doing this, my C.V is putting on some weight and my excel skills just got a lot better. Thank God for staff buses oooh cuz I dunno how I wudav been hustling every morning. The only day I tried it, my white pants were looking like white and brown Ankara prints by the time I got to work. Unfortunately, that was the first day of the program. #painful

Unto non-work issues... I'm now on instagram>> @nazzy_negrifille. This is for the friends who wanted to break my neck for not being on IG.
My dreams of getting an MIT masters just got dashed. Don't ask me why! American schools can be annoying. All my choices offer PhD programs in my course except you get in and drop out after ur masters thesis. Something like that. Pfft!

All the things I wanted to tell you guys are speedily leaving my head. So much for returning with gist! Bear with me jor..
Ehen! I have to say making videos for ur blog no be beans. S/o to Sisiyemmie; you go gurl. I have made over 20 videos over the last couple of weeks and they have been ............ *I have no words cuz I dunno* whenever it's time to upload the vid, the devil starts showing me faults like eye bags, smeared mascara or some grammatical error or even how rumpled my collar is...unfortunately, I heed the voice and cancel the upload. I'll have to upload the next vid no matter how imperfect it is.

Where do people get fine husbands from? That's a serious question cuz at my work place, it's like there's a family ad going on. Everyone has posters and pictures of their hubbies, wives n kids all over their cubicle....and they have lovely families. On one occasion, I kept staring at the picture of one lady's husband, she had to call me back. The disadvantage is that the people with ugly wives and husbands will suffer from inferiority complex... Plus, if u wear a ring and ur cubicle is pictureless, ppl will prolly think ur tryna protect the family image. Lmao.
I hereby declare that "I must marry an ultra FINE man". My kids shouldn't suffer facially cuz love is blind...

Let's not forget my fight with MTN. Did you hear that boko haram went to MTN office at V.I. It was actually me. On Friday last week, I sent N6, 500 to the SIM card on my WiFi device. I immediately got 12 notifications from social media and next thing, the money got wiped. I called mtn guys 9 times over the weekend and they kept saying they would reslove it. By Monday, I left work and went there to give them a piece of my mind. Initially, they said nothing could be done, that I browsed out of bundle. How can 12 notifications consume that amt of money? The dude even said I had to pay an extra amount. By the time I was done huffing and puffing, I got my refund back. Dats how N6500 wudav entered voicemail. Mtchew. Thanks to one MAN guy who took up the case unresolved it. :D

Let's not let boredom creep in with the length. I'll just shut up... Expect throwback posts from me i.e. stuff I wrote before started blogging. You'd love 'em. Promise.
If u wanna see some pix of wat I've been unto for some time, check 'em out on instagram.
Below are a few pictures tho... I know I exaggerated the how stained my white pants were... *hyperbole=sweet gist* Really, they got stained... :|





#firstdayatwork I dunno where the 'BLACKNESS' came from.


#today




I'm so glad to be back!
xoxo,
Nazzy

ILLUSIONS OF WEALTH.

   I'm on my way to something new...I got a job, well an internship with Citibank @ Lagos and my dad happily burst my bubble by opting for a road trip. Phew! Else, I wudav gotten my usual window seat and flown to Lag in less than 45mins. Trust me, the view of Nigerian untarred and jagged roads is nothing close to the view of clouds and the sky... But hey, it's more reasonable to make do with what you have right? So you see, I came fully armed with a tab, a kindle and 3 new books. I must not forget to add a long playlist and working headphones. However, I have succeeded in sleeping for the better part of the trip...I'm only human.


   I've been toying on whether or not to start writing a novel for some time now *pause* please think well before encouraging me cuz I have tonnes of incomplete works, hence disappointing previous "encouragers". Seriously, I think I wanna start and finish this time. Naturally, I was thinking of titles and themes and 'Illusions of wealth' is one of them. This post wasn't planned but by the time I decided I wanted to write something given the trend of my thoughts, I could think of nothing but 'Illusions of Wealth' as a topic. So, this is me borrowing the topic from myself for a blogpost. I'll definitely return it when the time comes.

    Just as I hoped, I got a seat by the window and started my sleep tournament. The bus driver deemed it fit to stop as often as possible for some reason......extremely annoying. This time, he stopped somewhere in Edo state. The place had a number of streams and he parked just by one, only we were on a higher plane. Just then, I noticed four kids taking a bath/swim and that had to be the most delightful bath/swim I've ever seen. They seemed so giddy swimming stark naked and splashing the not-so-clean water on themselves. I was enraptured by the scene especially when I noticed that one of the kids is about 3yrs old and was being thought howta swim by an older kid. I just kept kept staring till I called myself back....before my seatmate starts thinking I'm some perv checking out the lil black bumbums of the little boys.

    As I stared at the kids, I began to see that wealth isn't necessarily life and that many are living under the illusion that they have functional lives just because they have fat accounts.

   Wealth doesn't buy you some kind of happiness; you shudav seen the happy look on their faces or heard the ecstasy in their voices.

   Wealth doesn't buy you bravery, it can only boost your ego. It takes a wealth of bravery to let your kids including a 3yr old to go to that kinda stream without adult company. They didn't let the fear of kidnappers, drowning or catching a cold to keep them from having a blast with nature. Rich kids can only boast of memories void of the zing of nature...and prolly full of cartoons.

    Wealth doesn't neccessarily buy you a bright future; the fact that all those kids can only afford birthday suits when they go swimming today doesn't mean they can't afford better tomorrow.

    Everybody wants to be rich and successful and many forget to build actual lives in the process. We ignore opportunities to experience new things and pounce on any slight chance to earn more. Learn new things especially the weird and challenging: how to tango (definitely on my to-do list), surf, skii, fish etc.
Have a romance with nature and acquire the essence of life.
P.S: There's a huge difference between living and existing.

xoxo,
Nazzy.

EGGS WITH EARS.

So there's this really...well, you might call it 'weird' but I call it 'sensational'.... Yeah, so there's this really sensational thing I do where I talk to the eggs in my ovaries. Okay stop looking at me like that! People do weirder stuff... And no, I'm not pregnant so its not like I talk to an actual baby growing in me.

Here's how it works:
I see a picture of a really cute family and I turn to my tummy and say "hey kids (well they are kids to be so...), y'all should select the cutest and smartest four eggs and keep them safe. Don't tell me you lost 'em in a cycle...cuz I don't want any ugly or dumb kids". OR friends and I could be gisting 'bout our roles as mums and how we'd treat our kids and I'm like "Are you guys hearing? Y'all better be of good behaviour or else...na daily cane una go dey chop". *not like I'm tryna scare them ooh* My mum says you should always speak life into stuff no matter how distant or non existent it might seem.

I'm not making this up, I actually do it.lmao. Now I know these are not real kids but you must remember that they are potential babies. And if real babies can hear and take instructions, they just might be able to do the same. They have a 'life' potential in them.

This applies to dreams and ambitions. Unrealized dreams are like eggs, still in their comfort zone. You must recognize your dreams and gifts as having the potential to be realized. You must believe that they can' be' someday and must not neglect nurturing them as such. It's like incubating an egg. The hen sends a message of warmth, care and hope to the eggs, and the chicks find in these the strength to hatch. I'm not sure that's precisely how it works scientifically...but hey! Its is my theory.

You must learn to think of the intangible as tangible to pull them into existence. Your dreams are a blueprint of your future which must be envisaged and related with. The tongue has made the world's greatest impossibilities possible. So why don't you explore that god-like capability embedded in you? And if you're dumb, like literally (no hard feelings), you can communicate with your eggs through your thoughts and actions...believe me, they can hear soundless voices.

So my point is,
Eggs in ovaries can eventually become human,
Shelled eggs can turn to be chicks,
Nothing has turned to be the world
And your dreams can turn to be the next you.
Talk to the eggs!!!... whatever they are.

Btw, yesterday I loosened my hair and I loved what i saw.. My real hair is near natural and I love it's bounce. So i rocked my natural afro like never before and I almost lost my voice saying 'thank you'  to compliments. Here are a few pictures I took.
P.S: Stop with the incessant use of hair relaxers and stuff... Excessive use of hair chemicals is bad for hair growth and health. Expect a post on DIY tips for the hair.










xoxo,
Nazzy

FRUSTRATED...

I'm so pissed right now, my brain hurts (whatever that means). I planned for today's blogpost to be great but due to the circumstances at hand, I'm here to rant.......listen and sympathize. P.S- I feel like biting my tab to tiny bits

Firstly, i haven't been able to reply my readers' comments and I apologise for that. However, na this stupid tab and im wahala. When you go to your "
Post and Comment" settings, it's supposed to look like this

but mine looks like this-

. So as you can see, options 2 to 5 are missing. I've gone thru all settings and I can't figure it out. How can a blogger not reply comments? This is so annoying. I've Googled and Googled again but still, I've got nothing. *screams for 20 secs*

Secondly, my swipe keyboard disappeared after a software update....
Now see what i have to use...it doesn't even have a 'CAPS LOCK' key. :( It's so annoying to type with... I WANT MY SWYPE BACK!!!

Right now, I hate computers... they've succeeded in making a supposed beautiful morning a horrible one. *exhales* I tried downloading the swype keyboard but you'd need a visa or master card for the purchase and unfortunately, I use a verve card. Whew!! My forehead aches, my brows have been creased for over 15 mins.

So please drop your comments telling me what to do especially about the comment ish..
Finally, I'm so freaking angry + the weather sucks... I thought I thought I'd feel better after this rant...but i feel the same. Hope y'all are having a better day?
xoxo,
Nazzy.

WEDDING VS TOWN MEETING.

My disposition of weddings has been a function of phases of my life. When I was kid, I loved them. I was in almost every bridal train. I didn't even have to know the couple; I just had to be the sister-in-law's friend's daughter or the tailor's daughter's friend. Fabulousity tho.. When I grew into my teens, i hated weddings; sheer waste of time and Lawd, they were boring. No one was my mate, you'd find the couple, kids and adults. Finally, NOW! I totally dig them. My friends are getting married so i can relate to being a part of the whole thing and secondly, it's a sure way to keep up with fashion trends. You also get to doll yourself up and get a couple of 'hi's and 'hey, your daughter is so grown and pretty'. Bottom line is that i'm at the exciting phase.

The paragraph above is not even my main point. My point is that these days, the couple barely know half the people coming to help them spend their money all in the name of celebration. I attended a wedding a week ago and it was some experience. The couple are from high-brow families so the high and mighty in Imo state were present. I sat with my sister on a table next to a table reserved for a permanent secretary in the state. Just then, two old men came and sat on the table knowing fully well that it was reserved for someone else. One of the men was just screaming about not standing no matter what happened. He even went further to displace the tag by placing it under the flower vase, thinking no one saw him... He just had to be a wedding crasher or at most, a random villager. It wasn't my wedding but i was ultra pissed on behalf of the couple. I was fuming by the time refreshments landed. These brutally shameless men devoured everything that passed by them with avid impunity. The most irritating part was that i could hear the "schlop schlop" sounds they made while chewing. As if that wasn't enough, they chewed with their mouths so open that i could practically see their tonsils (hey! I'm entitled to the use of hyperbole). It took all the self control i had not to make a video of these dudes. You'd have thought that would be the limit but... *exhales* When it got to the presentation of gifts, the more aggressive man got an envelope from an usher and proudly filled it with about a hundred-and-something naira. I just hadta scream...in my mind ofcourse.

My point is that it is simply awful that such people take the responsibility of stealing the glamour off these weddings. Honestly, most of 'em are random people from the village who would gladly seize the opportunity to grab a good plate of rice, and they do not know the difference  between their town/village meetings and weddings. At that wedding, some dignitaries who initially had tables reserved for them had to stand awhile before alternative arrangements were quickly made. That might have ended differently with the actual guests upset and the hosts embarrassed. I attended a wedding some time ago were something similar happened just because a bunch of random villagers chartered a bus to the wedding venue. I'm not saying weddings are for only city folks oo. I just think there should be a way to ensure that entrance is strictly by invitation. Ofcourse there'll be few exemptions but then the town meeting syndrome slowly creeping into wedding scenes would have been minimized to barest minimum.
In all, the wedding was a great one. Congrats Nwanne and Ogb.
For the records, that's me on that day and there's my lil sis in the lil black dress. :)
xoxo,
Nazzy.

WHY YOUR BABY HATES YOU SOMETIMES.

Do you think being all grown gives you exclusive rights to being angry or feeling like peeling someone's skin off her face? Do you think these cute babies sometimes don't wish that we could sometimes catwalk into pit latrines and stay there till 9Ja starts having 24-hr power supply (una sabi say that time still far, no be small)?  

I hear people say babies are spirits... dunno how that works but these sweet beings are pretty sensitive and despite their inability to say 'hey, you are really pissing me off', I think they actually get pissed. This one's especially dedicated to naija mums.
P.S-All I had to do to think this up was to think like a think like a Nigeria baby which i was. My point is that this came naturally...from experience.
Here are some things that i think get babies super pissed.

1) Doing 'the face' when they throw up:
This one's for the aunts. You know those 'between-saliva-and-vomit' things that babies throw up frequently, dunno what they are called but you know what i mean. Mums don't really mind but we aunts always screw up our faces and i bet those babies would be saying 'see her ugly face. I go dey here when you go dey suck your pikin nose....abi na eww go comot the catarrh'.  

2) Forcing them to eat by pinching their noses and holding 'em like that:
Abeg this act is plain brutal. Every proper 9ja person should be able to relate to this esp ibos and yorubas. This is what i call operation 'swallow or choke'..and ofcourse the poor kids go swallow naa. .hu wan die? Funny enuf, na when they wan give the pikin akamu (pap), this method they always show. Put yourself in their little shoes; you no go vex?  

3) Putting a single thread on their heads when they have hiccups:
Na the ibo mumsis they do this one pass. Instead of doing something tangible to ease the discomfort from the hiccups, they expect a single tiny rope to work the magic. I dunno if this really works but hell, if you were a baby and it didn't work, you'd be freaking cross cuz those hiccups are so annoying. Trust me!  

4) Going to shoprite with your baby tied to your back with a wrapper:
Una dey like think say na only una dey like baff up when shopping time don reach. Haba mana! While other babies are 'tushly' tucked into prams and baby carriers, some mums deem it fit to 'back' their babies with Ankara. These lil people can tolerate that SHIT in balogun market but shoprite is the limit. Don't you know other babies will be calling your baby razz eh? And you'll be saying 'hey, this Tata is pointing at you, oya greet your friend' meanwhile na point and kill oda pikins dey do your pikin.  

5) Changing their diapers in public places:
This one can be gross on all levels. Recently, i saw a woman sit on the ground outside the church to wipe her baby's ass and change her diapers. I no say dem be pikins but every ass deserves some respect and privacy jare. This lady was hanging the baby's bum so high in the air during the ass-wiping process that you'd think she was dedicating the ass to a deity. Abeg, babies too dey get crushes so stop embarrassing your daughter by showing that her cute crush with one tooth(who she prolly likes cuz all his feeding bottles have BEN 10 on the'em) her cute bum.
Seriously, Nigerian women should really check this one.  

Now, i know we can barely remember things we felt when we were babies but i can assure you that you were damn right pissed if you experienced any of this. Still lmao... Have a lovely Sunday!
xoxo,
Nazzy