PARA-PLEADING

My darling readers,

       Thanks for answering to this summon… I know you did cuz you’re reading this. I’ll skip all the pleasantries cuz no be everyday lover go dey mood. You’ll have to look at this on two planes. Its either you see this as ‘para’ or as ‘pleading’. Yeah!

       Unto more vital monologues…. I am tired of this one-sided flow. It takes two to tango but lately, I don dey dance alone. When I started this blog, y’all used to come and comment and I always had this grin plastered to my face. Now my grin is gone. Why? Because y’all don’t drop me comments anymore. Yes, that’s why. *straight face*

       Don’t get me wrong; lately, my traffic feed has had an awesome boost but then y’all just come, read and go. Let me expatiate:

      It’s like a wife being hot and all dolled-up every night without giving oga some sugar…… YES!

      It’s like a car having a tank full of fuel but having no oil. How you wan make e take move?

      It’s like attending a wedding without giving the couple a gift… Yes, they’ll be happy you came but the hall and the rice wey you chop na money. Everything na business oo.

      It’s like giving my late dog, Sashi, bones. She loved bones but she’d always preferred a good layer of flesh over the bones.

      It’s like giving a vampire a blood bag. All na blood but they’d rather have a warm creamy dose from your neck.

      It’s like having a 10/10 in a quiz without having the teacher write ‘very good’ or ‘outstanding’ on your script.

      It’s like a blogger smiling at her traffic feed till she sees her comment box and goes like “Why did they not comment naa?”

       Now that I’m done para-begging, I’ll just say thanks to all my readers. This is a new blog and despite my inconsistency because of my tight schedule (These lecturers want to kill somebody with work oo), I’ll say it’s been a success. Thanks for the visits, facebook shares, retweets and COMMENTS. They are really encouraging…. I love you guys….(But you know I have to say that so you guys would keep coming back…lol).

       Okay!!! Enough of the mushy stuff…  Kindly get your awesome self to my comment box and drop a few words.

Xoxo,

Nazzy

TaRnIsHeD

Love at first sight...
That's what he called it.
I call it blindness- temporary blindness- for in the end, he received his sight.
And then he saw me for what I really am...
What he thinks I really am.  

It was sunny and bright.
Nolan was at mama's and I was free.
Today was for me; for the 'me' I had lost.
I took a walk to the park.
The green gave me life.
The chrips were music to my ears.
The echoes of laughter were healing to my sullen state of mind.
Cold nostalgia swept over me as I walked into the arena...
That's what I call it.

Here, its an ocean of lotus and white roses.
The wind brags as my short white dress billows.
A smile works its way into my face and a moan escapes my lips...
Here, I am strengthened by the scent of purity.
Cold nostalgia washes over me as I think of Nolan and the days before him.
I immersed myself in comfort exuded from the petals..
Lost myself in the arms of mother nature.  

A shadow fell over me.
With my eyes closed, I could sense an invasion.
My haven had been troubled and my anger triggered.
I looked up to find a man staring, his mouth ajar in awe.
The pupils swirled like a whirlpool; in wonder I presume.
My anger dissipated into confusion.
Why was this creature here, looking into my soul?

That day it began.
That day passion was kindled.
That day I misunderstood.
This had to be love, in all its splendour.
When it wasn't Nolan, it was the shadow.
I opened the floodgates, and gave everything.
He was the one who would see what no other saw in me.  

Laughter filled my belly.
Poetry filled my ears.
Kisses covered my skin.
Passion blurred my vision.
In this was promise.

Tonight was for us.
As I combed through my lashes and adjusted my bow, I promised to show the last of me tonight. Nolan.
My shadow, I was sure, would see what no one saw.  

I walked into the restaurant to find him on his knee,
A ring clad with diamonds in his hand.
The strong melody of a stringed instrument bounced off the walls.
Light shone around him as darkness made a hedge around the beam.
With glistening eyes and near-exploding nerves he asked me to be his bride...
For a minute, all I could think of was Nolan.
Would he take us both?
'Yes'... I said 'yes'.
The room reverberated with claps as light ate up the darknss.
Surprises. I love them.
The world had witnessed it all.

I pulled him to a quiet corner.
"You should know something"
"What is it my love?" he asked as he kissed my face playfully.
My pulse quickened as the words clogged my throat.
I held unto faith that this would be perfect.
"I had no idea that you would propose tonight. I hoped to show you something else. Nolan. He's my son. He's a beautiful child. I..." I was interrupted by change.
He froze.
The kisses stopped and he held me still as he looked into my eyes.
It felt as though shards of ice pierced through my skin.
His touch suddenly burnt my skin.
His gaze was cold like death.
The scales fell from his eyes and he walked away.
He saw what others saw.
A tarnished woman.  

I stood there watching him and his friends talk.
Must have been about me.
I saw one shake his head and another snap his finger.
Shadow gulped down something in a glass and threw the glass on the wall.
He forbade me, Rejected me, abhorred me.
I was soiled... 'Mother of a bastard'.
His friends patted his back as he cursed the knowledge of me in regret.
A tear ran down my cheek leaving a trail of pain.
Insanity tore through me and I wailed.
I ran wildly, calling for Nolan.
Nobody cared enough to run after me.
Nolan was outside waiting for me.
I had asked a friend to hold him there.
I was supposed to bring him in after I told 'Shadow'.

I took my son in my arms and wept uncontrollably.
'Mama' he kept calling, his little hands all over my face.
They had seen a lie.
For my miracle, he saw a curse.
For my blessing, he saw a burden.
He saw everything but me;
The 'me'  worthy of love,
The 'me' he could love,
The 'me' that was true,
The 'me' he would never have.  

The ring suddenly felt like a yoke.
I pulled it off and threw it blindly into the dark night.
With it, I cast off all the pain.
I wiped my tears, kissed my son and walked away.
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We live in a society that thrives on stereotypes. An unmarried pregnant woman has to be a slut. A well groomed young man is most likely gay. We are forced align our lives with often baseless beliefs which are meant to curb decadence.
We forget that in life, things are not black or white. Some things are grey and should be treated as such. I am not making excuses for people who have careless sexual relations. I am only saying that sometimes, stories and motives differ. An unwanted baby is enough consquence. The society should cease to inflict more pain on mother and child.
People have diverse beliefs and I respect that. While you do not want to marry a single mother or father, you need not hurt them to prove that.
Recently, I was having a conversation with my mum and aunts and everyone started to dissect a young unmarried woman who recently had a baby. I had to come to her rescue, not because her actions are morally upright but because she is human and makes mistakes and has probably learnt a lesson or two. Nobody sees that she may become a more responsible person, a caretaker, a fighter, a teacher, a lover and a breadwinner.

This brings me to the question a friend asked me some weeks ago.
'Who would you rather marry: a divorcee or a single parent?'
Please drop your comments and opinions below..

xoxo,
Nazzy

THE DAY THE EARTH STOOD STILL

Bad days!

They come every now and then and rob us of our plans and fantasies. It’s funny how you make plans for a wonderful tomorrow and get handed a frustrating, awful ‘today’. Today’s just like that. I try to think of all the things that could possibly make today an almost great one but all I can think of is ‘nothing’. The irony lies in the fact that I received a promotion today. Don’t even think of me as ungrateful. Just hear me out.

I woke up with a smile on my face.

Anticipation zinged through me, awakening my nerves and the butterflies in my stomach. Owl City’s awe-inspired voice filled the air; I must have slept without turning off the music. I say my prayers quickly as I cannot afford to run late today. I love my apartment; the colors, the homey atmosphere and the scent. Somehow, it just looked more beautiful this morning. I guess promotions make life more beautiful.

I went to the bathroom to turn on the shower cuz I love my bathroom well humidified before I shower. So while the shower is doing its job, I set out to make a quick breakfast. I decide on noodles and some of the grilled chicken I had in the freezer.

With the noodles on fire and the chicken in the microwave, I return to my room to select the perfect ensemble. The navy blue blazers I got on Jumia should do the trick. I just had to find the right bottoms and shoes. I had just decided on cream pants and my maroon brogues when I smelt it. My food was burnt! I quickly dashed to the kitchen and there, was my pot of noodles all black and burnt.

No! Undaunted in the face of mishap, I turn off the cooker and move the party to the sink to clean up the mess. You think you know stubborn until you try to wash heavily burnt food off a pot. I finally give up and fill the pot with water. ‘The chicken wasn’t bad’ I decided as I ate hurriedly. Time wasn’t on my side anymore.

I was rinsing out the dishes when I heard the sound of running water from the bathroom. That’s normal right? A running shower shouldn’t quite be quiet so I make a quick run to my room to get my shower cap. On getting to the bathroom, all I could see was water. The whole was flooded. Apparently, I hadn’t shut the shower cubicle and the water had sprung directly into the room. This was becoming a bad day. I got on my knees and mopped up the water. After ten minutes of wringing a mop, I got into the shower and scalded myself. I forgot ‘again’ to regulate the temp. I made my decision; ‘This was a bad day”.

After the rushed cold shower, I dressed up as quickly as possible and spent just ten minutes on my makeup. Just so you know, that’s a world record. I grab my car keys and handbag and practically run out the door. “Ashiru, where you dey? I never tell you say I no wan dey find you if I wan comot? I go reduce your salary. Abeg open gate jare” I screamed at the poor gateman who was taking a peaceful nap for lack of work to do. Someone had to partake in the bad morning right? I was almost out of the compound when Ashiru flagged me down. “What is it?” “Madam, I no fit tell you before because you been dey para but e be like say you don dey calm down…” “Ashiru talk fast!” I interrupted impatiently. “Okay ma. Your dress get stain for back. E be like paint. E no good at all”. At this point, all the fluid in my body rush to my eyes. I let the tears fall. What kind of morning was this?

I drove back in and quickly rummaged through my wardrobe to find something new…something worthy of a promotion. I found a dark green dress which I paired with cream court shoes and a briefcase. I quickly turned the contents of my bag into the box and ran wildly to my car after locking up. I had driven for ten minutes when I took a look at my dashboard. The pin of the fuel indicator (I hope that’s what it’s called) was oscillating towards the ‘E’. I was practically out of fuel. I shook my head frantically. I had to believe what had left would take me to work. For Pete’s sake, it had to. I started chanting what I hoped was a prayer. As soon as my office building was in view, I worked up a smile. Things were starting to look up. I hoped aloud that the meeting would not have started. Just then my car jerked once, and again. I quickly pulled up to the curb before it gave up. I grabbed my briefcase and phones and started for the office- on foot! My pace had to be somewhere in between walking and running.

By the time I got to the building, it was ten freaking minutes past ten. Shoot! The meeting had to have started. Imagine my relief when I was told the meeting would kick off in ten. Beads o sweat broke and ran down the sides of my face as I slumped into my chair. I got my emergency make up kit and headed to the ladies for some damage control.

The meeting went well. Thank God. I hope people were not able to see through my plastic smile. After the meeting, I was fed up and angry. This supposedly great day was just plain annoying. I was exhausted and broke down in tears. My colleagues assumed I was crying ‘tears of joy’ and started taking pictures of me; something about preserving the moment. I quickly pulled myself together and excused myself. All those pats on my back had started to feel like slaps. I got downstairs, hailed a cab and asked to be taken to a very good restaurant in Victoria Island.

So yes, that’s how I got here. I am sitting alone by the window on a table for two and have successfully ignored the waitress who came to attend to me, twice. I’m trying to caution myself and remind myself that today is not one for ingratitude when a waiter interrupts my thoughts. The girl must have sent this guy to come try his luck. So I’m now the disgruntled lady who scares waitresses. “Can I take your order ma’am?” “What kind of salads do you have” I asked still staring into space. “We have a number of them. I think you should take a look at the menu” he handed me the one he was holding even though there was one on the table before me. I scanned through it absent-mindedly. “I’ll have the liver salad” I said with a half smile as I passed it back to him. “And some red wine” I added. I sure need a drink. “Coming right up” the waiter said with a smile that implied he wasn’t going to let my stone cold expression deter him. I sent him a cold glance that had him running along.

“Given your mood, I’d say you should change that order. A liver salad will leave you in worse shape” Whose this one? Why can’t people mind their businesses? I turned ready to dash out the poison on the tip of my tongue when I saw him. Calm washed over me. It was a handsome face clad in a navy blue suit and a breath-taking smile. His eyes were light brown in color and twinkled (that has to be the word). His lips mouthed something I believe would be ‘hello’. And then he moved… He moved and sat on the chair opposite mine. He was tall and dashing. He made me forget. I had been trying to feel better for hours but in less than one minute, this stranger had made me forget… Forget that I was angry and was having the worst work day ever. I had forgotten that the earth is constantly in motion because right now, everything was still and blurry except him.

I snapped back into reality as he tapped my hand. “Are you alright? I could take my leave if you’d rather be left alone.” “No…Umm…you should sit right there. I’m just fine” I was admiring his haircut. “Okay then. That’s a good start.” He said with a smile. For the first time after I woke up, I smiled genuinely. I had seen many things and had felt so much today but for a split second, it felt as though the earth stood still…as though everything was just great so yes, that’s a good start.

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I hope you smiled at some point.

xoxo,

Nazzy