CHRONICLES OF 2015

I know you thought I wouldn’t show up. Don’t think about it; just give me a hug!

Last year was beautiful and I’m not saying this because I feel lucky enough to have seen a new year. It’s true because since I became an adult, I haven’t experienced an age or time in which I had to take absolute responsibility of things around me. I was an independent adult facing life in its barest form.

I had real hard times; not the kind you face because they are a family burden but the kind that become all yours and no one’s. I had choices dance before my eyes, each teasing me with its pros and scaring me with its cons. I was the wind; heavy and dark one some days and light and fast on others.

Above all, I LEARNED TO TRUST GOD ABSOLUTELY AND IN RETURN HE TAUGHT ME THE TRUE MEANING OF JOY. I LEARNED THAT EACH ASPECT OF MY LIFE IS A JIGSAW PUZZLE LYING ON MY FATHER’S LAPS GRADUALLY BECOMING THE PICTURE HE HAS IN HIS HAND. I LEARNED THE TRUE MEANING OF JOY AND NOW, NOTHING CAN STEAL THAT FROM ME.

I faced a lot of challenges but unlike other years, I was joyful and completely at peace and although not all plans came through, the best of Him through me came to life. In as few words as I can manage, here’s my tale of triumph:

•        I learned to listen to the word and became closer to God.
•          I kept the best of friends and learned not to underestimate the power of positive energy around you.
•          Nobody in my family was hospitalized; that hasn’t happened in a while so it’s a mind-blowing milestone.
•          I found favor with people.
•          Love came my way...I eventually let it go but I found beautiful moments and made memories of them… And it’ll be waiting at the next junction so spare me the “aww”
•          I got admitted to a master’s program and a top school in the U.K.
•          I got a great job in a multinational. (“Great” here is a synonym for stressful and nomadic in nature lol)
•          I led the choir in church.
•          I spent a night on the beach…you think you’ve seen it all until the sea sings you to sleep.
•          I bought new shoes and clothes and fabrics. What? Don’t you know some people are naked?
•          I wrote more beautiful pieces, stretching myself to uncover more deep and amazing parts of myself.
•          I ventured into spoken word; I entered into a talent competition, did a few of my pieces and came second. Anyway, the gist is that you can now call me “a spoken word artist.”
•          I got extra piercings on my ears and learned to love fura di nono. I hope I got that right.
•          I reunited with one of my best friends and then made some new ones.
•          God answered one of my prayers with a miracle for the family. Ehen? Must you know everything?
•          I finally bought a brand new Nikon D Series camera. Thanks to Jumia on black Friday, we can finally get around to that Youtube channel and blog expansion. Please help me beg work to give me a break now and then.
•          I took a decision to become the “Proverbs 31” woman and to love the “1 Cor 13” way. Without all that last year brought my way, I may not be on this journey right now.

Happy New Year my lovelies. You were an amazing part of my 2015 and I hope we all stay strong, loving and helping each other grow. This year is for miracles and the nature of God shining through us. Make the best of it and do not hesitate to be super amazing with no apologies.

Take every moment and create at least a fraction of your dream out of it.

Take every person and create a friend out of him/her.

Take all that you are and create a reflection of God on earth.

Lace every deed with a drop of eternity; something beautiful that someone somewhere will never forget.

Xoxo,

Nazzy

GROPING FOR A MAGIC WAND

When it comes down to it, I do not believe in fairytales. I don’t because despite the need to believe in them- to at least put a damper on the harsh realities of a world laced with scary stuff like ebola- they seem too far away. I know that all fingers are not equal but why should I be the one to have the little finger? Do you see where I’m coming from? Everybody tries to dissuade me from having fantasies that spice up my desires because they seem to be sure that I’ll eventually be disappointed when I don’t get them meanwhile someone somewhere has that same thing as his/her reality. I really do not understand why having a primal need to satisfy some desires I consider basic are always made out to be building castles in the air. It irks me that whenever I relate my desires or aspirations, there is always someone to point out how unrealistic some of them are and to what extent I’ll live an unhappy life when eventually I don’t get them. I don’t get why I can’t be one of the few that actually dream, believe and achieve. After all, there’s hardly any wish that has never come true before in some era or form. Why does everyone try so hard to make you believe that wanting a good thing is wanting too much? Has the world and its people deteriorated so badly that shooting stars have ceased to be awe-inspired because people are sure that no matter how much luck hovers around them, a wish made on seeing a shooting star will never come true, not even by coincidence.

Fortunately or unfortunately, I can’t help it. I can’t help stopping my imagination from running wild or my heart from racing after it. I can’t help seeing a huge conglomerate when I think of my career. I can’t help seeing a tall, hardworking, god-fearing, sensitive, ambitious guy when I think of my future husband. I can’t help seeing a hundred postcards crowding my refrigerator from all the places I’d have visited. I can’t help imagining my kids to be awfully cute and smart with dimples and who knows, maybe that photographic memory Lexi from Grey’s Anatomy has. I can’t help thinking of wine, chocolate, sweet scents, roses, silk and cuddling when I hear the word ‘romance’ although the average Nigerian man might not even know that those things mean anything at all. I can’t help seeing myself as some “Nazzirella” sometimes. I just can’t fight the pure magnificence that these day-dreams spiked with little wishes try to sneak into my very ordinary life in which I’m being forced to always be prepared for gloom rather than for splendor.

This has little to do with idealism but I refuse to accept that I can’t possibly be one of those people that stand as exceptions to all the ugly life stories flooding walls of fame. It is pretty much ironic because I have really had very rough moments years and many might be of the opinion that I should know better. Perhaps I do. I know that there’s no rule that says I have to wallow in difficulty just because the planet needs someone with whom it’ll to prove others that this isn’t Disneyland. There’s no rule that says things don’t get better and stay better, at least for a good measure of time. For me, believing that luck, purity, dream-come-trues and just a little magic are non-existent is just surrendering to defeat. I see all the evil floating carelessly and dropping unto the laps of unsuspecting people but for the sake of my sanity, I just have to believe that there are magical ways devised by forces of nature that tilt that scale just a little in the bid to create near-balance. I just need to live without fearing that death could snag me the next minute even though I know that that is an inevitable fact. I need to find happiness and freedom in my thoughts without being reminded every time that they might not be potent enough to become tangible tomorrow. I believe in the God who says that the desires of the righteous shall not be cut off; He set no boundaries to that. Now note that there is a line between a mere fantasy and desires but there are no limits to both. Wisdom is profitable to direct.

Who shares my sentiments?

The Person We All Need

Everyday I sit down waiting for 'inspiration' like we call it.
I sit waiting for it to creep in with the morning mists or drift in with a fluffy white cloud shaped like a unicorn.
I sit waiting for some magic to possess me and tell my fingers what to say when all around me, the voices of elements strive to make themselves heard through me.
I've decided that sometimes, the things that make the most meaning  are within and around us.
I have been reading a book titled "Never Eat Alone" and I have started to see people and the parts they play in my life from a different angle; a broader plane.
I used to fly solo all the time but lately I found myself bonding with people and getting really good at it.
At first, I was bothered that I was changing and letting too many people in but I learnt that loyalty and trust are attributes of the strong and wise.
I also learnt that your life really is about people, and being an island will leave you as static as an island.
Again, I learnt that there is more beauty in sharing love, joy, laughter, memories and even pain, especially with the right people.

Good friends are like sweet wine; they get better as they get older.
Bad friends are like a disease; they longer they stay hitched to you, the more they take from and destroy you.
Building friendships are a somewhat sacred act.
The choices of people to call your friends must not be made lightly; every new friend is an automatic addition or subtraction from your life.
What kind of life would you have if two-thirds of the people in your life constantly deduct value from you?
Your friends should be people you'd never have to deny knowing.
They should be people you'd want your kids to meet and emulate.
They should be people that can help you chase  and achieve your dreams without coveting them or swindling treasures off you.
They should be people you can trust yourself with such that if you fall, you'd have no fears that you wouldn't find help getting up again.
They should be people who'd slap sense into you when stupidity tries to stop you from making the right turns.
These kind of people are not just anybody.

We all need that person who sees in us, what no one else sees.
That person who makes you think of yourself as better than you are.
Lately, I met one of such people and I don't think I'm on my way to regret.
Many times, we wait for mind-boggling events to trigger the change we desire when all we have to do lies in our embracing normalcy.
I'm beginning to think that friendships are yet the strongest bonds we'll ever  have the privilege of making.
I do not speak of lust, sex or the often baseless relationships that have become the norm.
I do not speak of a coalition born of flighty sentiment.
I speak of a union of minds forged by selflessness, love, truth, tolerance, bravery and the courage to open one's self to the risk of losing it all.
I speak of the synergy born by the character of sacrifice and reason.

For some people, the heart is a locked gate whose keys are lost in a fog.
Only those who are willing to search blindly and patiently deserve to find the keys to unlock you. I need people who deserve me.
I need people who think I am worth the trouble.
I need people who are willing to teach me to be that better person they'd rather have me be.
I need people who'll make me forget that I don't know how to trust.
I need people who'll offer me a fresh start by making the pain from my past non-existent.
I need people who give me the correct definition of everything I feel.
You need them too.

In my opinion, you haven't found a friend until you have someone you can bare your soul to.
I look forward to meeting that person, whoever he/she may be.
I must confess that everyday I hope I find that friend in my life partner.
The truth may be that I might have met him/her/them; there's no rule that limits you to one true friend.
The people we pray and wait for may be those faces in the crowd that we bat eyelashes at and walk away.
Do not make the mistake of believing such people or bonds do nor exist....because they do.
My new friend taught me that if you're doing what you ought to do, you'll get what you ought to get.
Start by being the person you hope to find.
Be the friend you want to have.
Imbibe the character of love and the habit of forgiveness.
Be the person you've dreamt of having but never had.

MY SEX, MY CROSS

I walk around with this weight beneath me.
This weightless weight...
It defines me,
It qualifies me,
It is who I am.
With it comes release, pleasure and then pain.
My sex.

I am a girl and I had not a choice.
This gift was thrust upon me for reasons beyond my horizon.
I have accepted it.
Why won't you?

I'm the helper, the life bearer, the care taker.
I'm not the lesser being.
I do not care to be held a prisoner by a lifeless part of me.
I'm more than just 'female'.
I'm more than 'breasts and buttocks'.
I'm more than your 'saddle'.
I'm a woman... A person with feelings and dreams and the right to choose.
I'm not a rag doll, a trophy, a baby factory or a piece of furniture...
Don't treat me as one.

Let me live.
Let my ambitions thrive.
Let my talents and skills flourish.
Let the fire of hope in me burn.
Let my choices be mine.
Let me live for myself.

Dear Man, I ought to stand beside thee and not beneath.
Dear Culture, stop being biased against me.
Dear Religion, Aren't we all equal before God anymore?
Dear World, my ovaries are not yokes.

We are omnivores and not sin eaters.
We are not food to satiate the hunger between your legs.
We are not punching bags; find your way to the gym.
We are not weaklings because we are tender.
We are not dumb because we ought to submit.
We are not for the night, rag dolls to please yourself
Nor for the day, handbags to adorn yourself.
We are not victims.

I am the lover and the mother,
The wise and the strong,
The warrior and the teacher,
The cure to the insanity called "manhood",
The balm to soothe the madness of the young.
I am 'the woman'.

My sex is not a curse,
Today I cast off that cross.
I'll live above your beliefs.
I'll break loose from your grip.
Gender is itself
And I am myself.
                                                                                                                                                                   

This is for every woman whose sin is being a woman. Its for everyone who has lost anything as a result of gender discrimination. Everyone preaches 'gender equality' but what about the woman who is beaten up everyday, or the housewife with no self worth or even the African woman being ridiculed because she bore only female children.
Despite the growing rate of civilization, some people are still stuck in the world of male chauvinism. If you are a woman, stand for yourself; you have a right to be your own person. Fathers, invest in your girl child; she's just as good as a son. Men, please treat us right, the difference between you and us is the 'Y chromosome'. Ladies, your sex is not a tool to earn pity or evade honest  work.
Appreciate the women in your life.

xoxo,
Nazzy

7 THINGS SUBWAY SURFERS TAUGHT ME ABOUT LIFE

You know the game subway surfers right? I freaking love the game...who wouldn't? Abeg I'd rather have a cop chase me on tarred roads than have those nameless beasts in temple run chase me... Have you seen those temple run roads? Jagged and broken in half; so difficult to run on. The Governor of the temple run kingdom has to be worse than all the Nigerian governors put together. Now to my point, I would say I have a pretty analytic mind. So while people see stuff and let them pass, I tend to get a couple of insights off the situation.
I play subway surfers almost everyday and on an occasion, I just began to see it from a different perspective; like it was a lesson. Lessons are there to be learnt right? I likened it to life as a race.

    Firstly, there really isn't a major goal...like a trophy or something. Well, apart from Heaven which applies to only Christians. So it's like you're just there to live right; be fast and be consistent. Being careless can be disastrous and just somehow, life gets tougher as you go on, no matter how much you achieve. However, there are never-ending goals and missions. It's like every milestone is a stepping stone.

   Secondly, those mystery boxes and pop-up trophies taught me that life in itself has pop-up bonuses that are there to spice up your life no matter how bad things are. They might not have any adverse effect when not taken but could mean a whole lot if taken. For instance, when you lose a mystery box, it takes nothing away from you but if you take it, you just might have yourself stuff as little as  2 hoverboards (which ofcourse are lifesavers) or as much as 5000 coins or a megastart.

     Thirdly, Don't lose all for nothing. In as much as you want to grab those pretty lil trophies etc, see if making that move may cost you the race. Sometimes, we wanna make a quick grab and then we just crash.
Discernment is vital in the act of living. Take the super sneakers for example, they are so awesome they make you feel like a bird. You get to jump so high and far that you forget that you have no control of the height or distance of the jump. So sometimes you jump right into a moving train. Sweethearts, sometimes when things are too good to be true, it's a warning to be careful. You don't wanna lose everything for a some spur-of-the-moment excitement.

     Fourth, Learn from your mistakes. Ideally, a mistake made once should not be made again. Sometimes, the surfer makes a move and crashes into a train or trips and falls. Nobody expects the same thing to happen in another race. Mistakes shouldn't be habits. Always try to know what it is you did wrong and how you can avoid such. Learning from your setbacks and actions always makes you a better you.

      Fifth, You are always being chased. Never be at ease. See that cop and his dog, they represent the bad guys that are always after you. Nobody has a trouble free life; it's either people from your village or those at work or random onlookers. Your bad guys may even be inanimate challenges. There's someone after that position of yours at work or in class and so you have to put in your best at every point in time. Sometimes you think nobody's after you and you relax but that's when you have to tread carefully. It's funny how the surfers run swiftly without any sign of the cop and make one teeny mistake and boom!!! There's the dude and that bingo of his.


     Sixth, Always have  a fall back plan. That's why I happily spend my coins on those hoverboards. They are amazingly safe. You crash but don't die, can you beat that? Many people in reality live their lives and acquire so much without so much as a thought as to what happens if the crash. There's only one word for it: FOLLY. The good book says ' In all your getting, get wisdom' and there is no better way to put it. Always have something that'll cushion the effect of a bad fall... It could be an insurance policy, an investment or even a hoverboard.

     Seventh, Enjoy yourself. Why do you try to gather all those coins when you run if you won't use them. Once I have an abundance of coins, I do something nice like get the surfer a new look or but a new hoverboard or enhance my super skills. That's how life should be. Your race might be cut short at any time so take your time to enjoy the essence of your possessions and achievements. However, it is always wise to spend wisely!

There are so many other things subway surfers taught me but unfortunately, I'll do you the favor of not letting you know cuz many of you might have short reading spans and my aim is to please and not to bore. Try to learn a lesson from every and any thing. There's a lesson in every laughter, cry, song, game, cackle, babble or even dance. Take some time to be quiet in the midst of the chaos and the excitement and draw out the stories or lessons from every element. Life is more than an act, it is an art.
  Btw, I've been having a hard time beating my high score which is 537 300. Just so you know. *grins*

xoxo,
Nazzy