Thursday, July 24, 2014

The Person We All Need

Everyday I sit down waiting for 'inspiration' like we call it.
I sit waiting for it to creep in with the morning mists or drift in with a fluffy white cloud shaped like a unicorn.
I sit waiting for some magic to possess me and tell my fingers what to say when all around me, the voices of elements strive to make themselves heard through me.
I've decided that sometimes, the things that make the most meaning  are within and around us.
I have been reading a book titled "Never Eat Alone" and I have started to see people and the parts they play in my life from a different angle; a broader plane.
I used to fly solo all the time but lately I found myself bonding with people and getting really good at it.
At first, I was bothered that I was changing and letting too many people in but I learnt that loyalty and trust are attributes of the strong and wise.
I also learnt that your life really is about people, and being an island will leave you as static as an island.
Again, I learnt that there is more beauty in sharing love, joy, laughter, memories and even pain, especially with the right people.

Good friends are like sweet wine; they get better as they get older.
Bad friends are like a disease; they longer they stay hitched to you, the more they take from and destroy you.
Building friendships are a somewhat sacred act.
The choices of people to call your friends must not be made lightly; every new friend is an automatic addition or subtraction from your life.
What kind of life would you have if two-thirds of the people in your life constantly deduct value from you?
Your friends should be people you'd never have to deny knowing.
They should be people you'd want your kids to meet and emulate.
They should be people that can help you chase  and achieve your dreams without coveting them or swindling treasures off you.
They should be people you can trust yourself with such that if you fall, you'd have no fears that you wouldn't find help getting up again.
They should be people who'd slap sense into you when stupidity tries to stop you from making the right turns.
These kind of people are not just anybody.

We all need that person who sees in us, what no one else sees.
That person who makes you think of yourself as better than you are.
Lately, I met one of such people and I don't think I'm on my way to regret.
Many times, we wait for mind-boggling events to trigger the change we desire when all we have to do lies in our embracing normalcy.
I'm beginning to think that friendships are yet the strongest bonds we'll ever  have the privilege of making.
I do not speak of lust, sex or the often baseless relationships that have become the norm.
I do not speak of a coalition born of flighty sentiment.
I speak of a union of minds forged by selflessness, love, truth, tolerance, bravery and the courage to open one's self to the risk of losing it all.
I speak of the synergy born by the character of sacrifice and reason.

For some people, the heart is a locked gate whose keys are lost in a fog.
Only those who are willing to search blindly and patiently deserve to find the keys to unlock you. I need people who deserve me.
I need people who think I am worth the trouble.
I need people who are willing to teach me to be that better person they'd rather have me be.
I need people who'll make me forget that I don't know how to trust.
I need people who'll offer me a fresh start by making the pain from my past non-existent.
I need people who give me the correct definition of everything I feel.
You need them too.

In my opinion, you haven't found a friend until you have someone you can bare your soul to.
I look forward to meeting that person, whoever he/she may be.
I must confess that everyday I hope I find that friend in my life partner.
The truth may be that I might have met him/her/them; there's no rule that limits you to one true friend.
The people we pray and wait for may be those faces in the crowd that we bat eyelashes at and walk away.
Do not make the mistake of believing such people or bonds do nor exist....because they do.
My new friend taught me that if you're doing what you ought to do, you'll get what you ought to get.
Start by being the person you hope to find.
Be the friend you want to have.
Imbibe the character of love and the habit of forgiveness.
Be the person you've dreamt of having but never had.

Sunday, July 20, 2014



I just graduated from the university and once more, I had to deal with farewells and parting words that I dread so much. Knowing that I may never see some people who had become vital parts of my life is hard but the strength of these relationships lie in finding the "good" in the goodbyes.
I read a heartfelt letter written by a friend (whose picture is above) and just couldn't stop smiling. Goodbyes don't erase memories neither do they destroy great friendships.
Have a good read

I spent 1,460 days wondering what it would feel like on the last day but it was nothing I had imagined. As I walked down to my hostel after my unending parole my heart started to clamp together and air became heavier to suck in. Tola Omotosho's voice rang in my head "keep it together, curb your shit". I wanted to run back and hold him but I couldn't because the courtesy officer had pitifully given us five more minutes to say our goodbyes. A sister just had to keep it together. Memories of the last four years ran through my head in a flash; it felt like yesterday. Even my first day in Bowen felt like it happened a few hours ago.

All I could think about were my family. This family includes people I would ordinarily call a bunch of crazy friends.  There’s Adesewa Adebisi; I actually thought we were going to be best friends. We didn't even get to say a proper goodbye. I know we had our differences, but I love you and I wish you well. My Olamide Fadairo; my boss, my sister, my popular gingo, you will always remain my MAIN BITCH...I love you babe. Tejumade Adekola; my negress, my partner in crime, I love you sugar. Yinka Amokeodo: my friendship, my sister, my school daughter, I love you to babe. Tobi Ogunfidodo; my G, my sister I love you too. To my best friend Adelani Damilola; my ride or die bitch, my padi padi (even though I didn't know when u left school), all our fights from chapel to the hostel, the tears, the “I will never talk to you again" *in Sewa's voice*, the make ups and the breakups, the fun days will all be missed. I swear you guys are the real MVP. I love you all!!!

LOL… I can't believe am laughing through my tears. I guess “goodbyes” help you understand, appreciate and remind you of how important the things, moments, laughter, hugs, conversations, togetherness and the tears that we took for granted are. It helps us realize the importance of our existence as human beings...  
My other family: Gbemisola Akinyosoye; my birthday mate, my G. We didn't have all the four years together but the little time we had made up for the lost time.  Amarachi my sugar banana, I will miss u G and I will always be your "princess". Tola Omotosho, I love you and that is true bae. *plenty homo* Chinye dear, I love you. Aderanti Tejuosho, I love you princess! Enitan  AKA Ant hill, we didn’t have all of the four years but I thank you for the mermorable days. I love you B.

Shout out to my real niggas; Akin Ajobo, my “Mr. Sophisticated” I will miss you. Olumide my blood, my first major Bowen crush -bad for me he was dating Gbemisola and the love was strong so a sister didn’t have a choice but to support the couple. I was a real fan though- I love you brother. Tolu Jimoh my fine ass nigga, my gay nigga, I will miss you. Mr. Nyf my robot hugger, I love you. Lexy and Anudavis, I will miss you guys too!

This is for SIR AKALA 1 (soon to be LORD AKALA *in Enitan Ant Hill's voice*). Lol. I just burst his brains... I know pips be expecting me to define what we are- the likes of Gbemisola , Amara, Sewa, Ranti and co- but I’m sorry to burst your bubble guys. I don’t know what we are but I like where we are going. One thing I know is that he takes care of me, keeps me company, listens to me, holds me when I need to be held, Kisses my pains away, buys me Ribena (don’t judge me;  Ribena kids are happy kids), compliments me, notices me, understands my silence, makes me happy, respects my space, and thinks I’m the craziest, most adorable human being. The list could go on for years. He makes me laugh and above all, kept it real with me. So people, you can now do the math. But if u asked me, I might say "Definition is over-rated"; it is a thing of the heart and what matters are the things you feel. I Heart You Baby!! 

To my baby Adewole Damola; my number one fan, my baby, my love, I will miss you bae. To Ibukun Ogini; I wish I knew you a long time before now. God bless your heart angel. And my Moyo Olaleye, my tutor for days; even though she's didn’t take the course, she would study it just to explain it to me. She is a real G. I love you girl.

To BABBS,  my academic family; for four years the likes of Omosigo, Sharon baby, Ola, Mr. Dice  (don’t worry, add more inches to your height then we’d talk about that one night stand), Shevy aka star boy/poor boy (you and I know your account balance " winks"), Tolu  Okuwobi (my first fam in the department... My brother for days... Bestie of density) made my stay awesome. I love u guys. Gbeminiyi my class rep, Morade, Shade, Deola, Tope, Funmi, Busayo, Karen, Victor, Funmi, Mayowa, Tutu and Nike, the three Dami's, Joy, Jesuntomi, the two Kemi's, Oiza, Wunmi, Sesan Miller, Fisayo, Doyin, Abbey, and the names I can't remember, God bless you all. 

To my lovers in other departments; Lolade Salako my honey drop, Ife, Shola, Blaise, Moyin (my Mr. Personality thank you for the shirt), Yetunde my mumsy, Okiki, Julian, Tife, Anna, Tunji, Allen , Medun (I still remember that weekend *winks* It was fun), Oluwo and kolaaa (cute something), I will miss you dearly. To all my G's and lovers, y'all know yourselves, I’ll miss you. If I didn't mention your name, I’m sorry. #behaviourofagraduate I love you still!

Now to Knight Set; 
Today, I have mixed feelings comprising of both delight and sorrow. Delight because I know how happy we are after the seemingly endless rules, exams, tests, stress, 8am classes and morning bells, we managed to survive without any casualties. Remembering your faces somehow gives me flashbacks of the many different memories with every one of you. I know we have all shared amazing memories with each other, cried on each other’s shoulders or handkerchiefs, laughed till that Coke spilled through our noses, and even argued like crazy but  I see that the bonds between us will never break and that this will be something we will always have. Our eyes slowly tearing up make me feel sad because we must say our temporary goodbyes. We have grown up together and have come to know each other as siblings but just like in most families, at some point siblings must eventually say their goodbyes.

The certificates that we receive represent success and achievements but what we must remember more is the journey that accompanied this achievements – the heartache and happiness not the first class or pass. The certificate itself is gently tucked away in the appendix of our books while the journey itself fills the pages. I could go back and reminisce all the way about the last four years but I think it’s more important to focus on where we will be in the next four years. I used to tell my roommates, "My five year plan is to find a rich man and settle down with so I wouldn't have to work".  Please SCRATCH THAT! IN FACT, IF YOU ARE NEAR ME SLAP THE FUCK OUT OF ME!  Hey, I am not saying you should marry a broke ass nigga oo. Having said that, whatever you decide to do whether it’s tailoring or fashion designing; culinary arts or makeup; law or medicine; accounting or politics; fashion or music; we must make sure the word “success” is associated with what we do. We must take good advantage of all the opportunities we stumble upon; don’t wait around for things to happen. Blair Waldorf said "Destinies are for losers. It's just a stupid excuse to wait for things to happen instead of making them happen". I never said things are going to be easy. People tend to ask themselves "what if I fail?" when they haven't even started. Yeah, so what if you fail? Dust your bum and do it again.  Zig Zagler once said  “You don’t have to be great to start but u have to start to be great". Whatever you decide to do, make sure it’s for your passion for it and not just because of the paycheck. Ok scratch that, if the pay check pays the bills fucking do it. Umm… scratch that a little. LOL. Seriously, money is not everything but money is something vital so strive to acquire it but only through honest labour. So whatever you do, do it from the heart or not at all.  We must concentrate on enhancing our future and setting great examples for those who love us and for those who look up to us. We must be the positive reflections of tomorrow. Hence our actions must make a statement and send a clear message that we are the change that everyone awaits. Nelson Mandela said "May our choice reflects our hopes and not our fears". The Great Steve Jobs said “Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most importantly, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.” 

Finally I will like to take a moment to remember our friends and course mates who left us early; Toba and Mayowa. We love you but God loves you more. Rest in peace Warriors. My fellow Knights, let us brace ourselves because the world awaits and remember that when life gives you more than you can chew, you can swallow and drink water to push it down. If life gives you more than you can stand, kneel and go before the Almighty God in prayer. Philippians Chapter 4 verse 6-7 says "Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." 
Warriors as we raise our caps "to a new beginning", stay safe, stay connected and be happy.  
Your girl,
Iwaeni Abimbola.

Friday, July 4, 2014


I have been M.I.A for some time now. I was busy rounding up with my BSc programme and I’m finally done with it. Four years of pure joy, pain, surprises, frustration, disappointments, and achievements have ended. The four years every high school senior can’t wait to get a taste of when on the other hand, every undergrad wants to quickly get over with them. They ended and nothing happened. The sky didn't turn pink neither did my crush come to my door bearing roses and a diamond ring. I had so many ridiculous expectations but right now, normalcy has eroded them from my head.

There was something about the notion of being a graduate that made us think we’d probably sprout an extra head because the weight of the awesomeness would be too heavy for one head to carry. I thought I’d feel different, have all the answers all of a sudden, have super strength to do all those things I've been dreaming to do and maybe even grow taller. HAHA! But I feel normal; normal in a funny way.

Maybe this is a phase. The platform from which I’d leap unto all those things I expected. I feel strangely overwhelmed by my ambitions. I’m out of the safe net where I used to have all the answers. If you asked me what I wanted to be in three years time, the answers just rolled off my tongue like floetry. Right now, I think of the same question and no words rush to my mouth. I stare into whatever lies before me as those plans, dreams, goals seem like tiny molecules floating on the sea of uncertainty. I no longer have some explanations waiting for me even before I asked the question. This is really strange, really ordinary and I’m used to being a superwoman. Being a superwoman is easy when there are no risks and no black holes furiously reaching out to drag you into them. Here in the real world, all we have are ordinary people with extra ordinary dreams trying to make use of ordinary resources to make extraordinary stuff happen. I’m getting used to the idea as peculiar as it is to me.

I’m training myself to subdue fear, ignore shame and accept the possibility of failure as a natural ingredient for success. I’m struggling to accept the truth in the fact that I may have to let some people go so that new people can teach me things that will open my eyes to greater things. I am making conscious efforts to define who I am and what I want out of life, and I’m learning that this definition expands with every new day. I am learning that I have no reason to let go of who I want to be no matter what eerie voices say.

Everything you feel and have is a tool. Love, pain, memories, fear are all forces from which you can draw strength or weakness. So even though I am having a hard time reconciling reality with expectations, I will find my feet and I’ll stand on them. The truth is that no achievement is an end. They ought to be pre-requisites to achieving new stuff and we must find other things we need to attain new heights. Everything seems as uncertain as the mists, curling and shifting with every second but we must remember that as hours engulf minutes, the forms beyond the mists become clear images. This is my mist phase but I have to make sure that as things settle, I’ll be ready at every point to take charge of reality and make extraordinary things happen. I have decided to have fun and make great memories while I’m making history. Who says you can’t do both? Life’s too short to for every day not to be filled with the kinda laughter that makes you snort or the kinda smile that makes your cheeks hurt. Whether you’re in the mist phase or at the point where everything is crystal clear, be grateful and seize the moment with reckless abandon. Hey, I’m not saying you should jump off a cliff with no parachute screaming “You only live once”. Just let your dreams, hope and faith be incorruptible.