GOLDEN MORN

Like an enemy trying to overthrow a fortified wall,

The light pushed against my closed eyes.

I could almost feel my pupils constricting… shuddering at that golden force.

My face felt pleasantly warm and I assumed those were the sunrays washing over me.

I let out a silent scream; a yawn, betraying my fatigue which was ironical since I had been in bed all night.

I finally opened my eyes and just like in fairy tales, a little white bed sat on my window sill chirping away a tune I had never heard before.

The leaves on the branch just outside my window were clothed with the morning dew that escaped to the ground below in steady drops.

Termites that would have had me disgusted suddenly looked regal as they marched in a train up the tree, carrying bits of what I couldn’t really make out.

A moth flew by and I could almost swear I saw specks of color.

“Now my head’s really messing with me” I thought as I snapped out of my daydream.

I soon relaxed again after I remembered that today was a holiday.

The churning of copiers;

The absent-minded flight of papers;

The groans that accompanied the stretching of tired workers;

The sound of the pen tip on a desk as my boss asked me silly questions to which he already had answers;

All that would not interrupt the serenity that came with this beautiful day.

I looked outside again and began to watch as the rays from the rising sun turned the surfaces of cars into mirrors.

The cars that sped by carried a blur of reflections that intrigued me.

I wondered why I had never noticed all of this before.

My eyes caught a cloud shift and just as I looked up at it, carefully avoiding the sun itself that was gathering strength with each passing second,

I felt a brush on my back.

“Are you alright” my wife asked

Her voice was low and throaty. It sounded like a groan only it was sweeter.

I looked back at her.

She sat up halfway with her elbow anchored on the soft mattress as it gave her upper body some support.

She wasn’t insanely beautiful but she drove me insane anyway.

Her extremely full afro looked like a halo with jagged pieces hovering over her head.

Her dark skin glowed and her bare lips stayed slightly parted as she stared at me with what I can only imagine, was worry.

How couldn’t I be alright?

I was falling in love again, just like I did every morning. I could never look at her and not fall in love over again.

I caught her hand as she reached for my face, kissed her palm and drew her close.

She sat still, her body perfectly curled into mine like the right piece of a jigsaw puzzle.

It was different. This morning was different.

On every other day, I fell in love with Muna but it was as though the elements were never in support.

The birds never helped me sing her a song.

The termites never went on a parade.

The moths never thought to look beautiful.

The sunrise was too soon and too bright.

She never sat still in my arms looking into my eyes as though she were searching for some lost treasure.

There was never the time to notice that my wife of ten years still smelt of crisp apple and vibrant poppy just like she did on the day she said those first words “Clumsy idiot” to me.

Or maybe I never noticed.

And then she did what she always did.

She heard it; the voice in my head.

She read it; the words my pupils heard. She always knew.

“Give it a title” she whispered.

“Huh?” “Give all of this a title”, she replied as her lips twitched with subtle amusement.

Just as I was about to reply, we heard a deafening honk.

As we both turned towards the window to see what the intrusion was, we saw a large van.

On it was a huge picture of a little girl smiling heartily as she ate every Nigerian child’s dream cereal “Golden Morn”.

“That’s it” I laughed. “’Golden Morn’. This is the perfect golden morning”

She let out a husky laugh. “Is that ridiculous or what!”

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I apologize for not being here. I've been really busy, but I promise it's gonna get better. I cannot possibly turn my back on you guys. Yes, my readers are that amazing!

P.S- I wrote this for my 'bowl of marshmallows'. At first, I thought this piece was somewhat ridiculous but he said it isn't. Plus, nothing's really too ridiculous to be said. [Let's not even start analyzing that statement]

P.S.S- Don't leave this page without dropping a comment. I always wanna know what you have to say. 

Have a wonderful weekend

THE DAY AFTER THE RIOT

I know we Bowenites are supposed to be worried about the closure of our school and how it affects us. Fortunately, today I had such a great day, I couldn’t be bothered. As at yesterday when my friends and I got to Ibadan, the plan for today was to go to the movies and hang for a couple of hours. Good plan ey? Well, today the plan turned awesome.

I got a call early this morning from a close friend. Let’s call him ‘M’. So M called me this morning and said a couple of our friends were planning to hang out at Premiere Hotel. They wanted to swim and wanted me to be there. Since the plan was different from my Shoprite-Cinema routine, it sounded like a good one. Besides, A and T were gonna be there. There are some of my closest guy friends. I then called my twinnie to ask if she was interested. She got the consent of some of our other friends including A’s girlfriend. All of us were supposed to meet at the hotel by 1pm.

At 1pm, my phone was constantly buzzing with everyone asking me where I was. Unsurprisingly, at that time, I was just getting out of the bathroom and struggling to put on my makeup with all the sweat trying to make sure I couldn’t. Eventually, my friend, Franciara and I left the house to the venue. Of course, everyone else was at the hotel.

To cut the long story short, we got there and met our friends eating, drinking and swimming. None of us girls wanted to swim so we sat watching the guys who swam a bit, came back to us to play, gist and drink, and returned to the pool. Some kids were brought by staff of a swim school and it was a delightful to watch them learn. Some of the kids in the advanced class shamed me as they swam with such grace at the deepest end. I must learn how to swim and stop wasting swimsuits.

After about an hour, one of the girls went to the playground to swing a little. The rest of us didn’t give her any thought until we heard her squeals. One after the other, we left our table for the playground and that’s where the fun started. All of us forgot that we are final year university students and played like crazy kids. Everyone tried to swing the fastest and highest and my goodness, we girls can scream our lungs out. The merry-go-round was just the icing on the cake. The boys did the pushing while we did the squealing and unconsciously made the ugliest faces known to man. One of us fell in the bid to jump out cuz the speed scared her so much. Luckily, she didn’t get hurt and her boyfriend was there to carry her up and cuddle and bla bla.. Talk about love! The seesaws were amazing as well. We took a lot of pictures and tried to limbo. It was fun! The last time I played this much, I was in primary school and it wasn’t this exciting because it was a norm. We didn’t care that we are adults or that we are supposed act in a certain way. We stole the damn show with no regrets. Afterwards, we all left the playground and got plates of Asun (severely peppered chunks of goat meat). I dunno who ordered our murder but the pepper was deadly. Bottles of water were downed in less than 3 mins yet everyone kept dancing funny and fanning their open mouths with their hands. It was a funny sight to behold.

After we all parted ways, Franciara and I went to the mall to get a box of pizza before heading home. We ended up buying the pizza and a huge chocolate cake called “Black forest”. I also bought some other personal items. So much for getting just pizza *rme*. We then went home to make dinner and devour our purchases. The pizza was awesome while the Black Forest was more like bread with icing. The icing and topping were great though.

I’d say it was a great day; the best I’ve had in ages. It was different from the regular adult fun. I dunno who else had a great day but I’d say there’s something about today. I was reminded that once upon a time, I was free with no problems and that I can still feel that kind of freedom despite adulthood and the hard times.

I hope you all had a reason to smile today. If you didn’t, I hope you were affected by the joy in my tale. J

P.S: I'd have loved to put up all the pictures but for some reasons (*listing 'em in my head*), I'll leave you with the three at the top. I didn't put up any with the ugly faces I mentioned earlier; was scared I might send y'all running, and I need my readers. :D

Have a great weekend!

Xoxo,

Nazzy

TaRnIsHeD

Love at first sight...
That's what he called it.
I call it blindness- temporary blindness- for in the end, he received his sight.
And then he saw me for what I really am...
What he thinks I really am.  

It was sunny and bright.
Nolan was at mama's and I was free.
Today was for me; for the 'me' I had lost.
I took a walk to the park.
The green gave me life.
The chrips were music to my ears.
The echoes of laughter were healing to my sullen state of mind.
Cold nostalgia swept over me as I walked into the arena...
That's what I call it.

Here, its an ocean of lotus and white roses.
The wind brags as my short white dress billows.
A smile works its way into my face and a moan escapes my lips...
Here, I am strengthened by the scent of purity.
Cold nostalgia washes over me as I think of Nolan and the days before him.
I immersed myself in comfort exuded from the petals..
Lost myself in the arms of mother nature.  

A shadow fell over me.
With my eyes closed, I could sense an invasion.
My haven had been troubled and my anger triggered.
I looked up to find a man staring, his mouth ajar in awe.
The pupils swirled like a whirlpool; in wonder I presume.
My anger dissipated into confusion.
Why was this creature here, looking into my soul?

That day it began.
That day passion was kindled.
That day I misunderstood.
This had to be love, in all its splendour.
When it wasn't Nolan, it was the shadow.
I opened the floodgates, and gave everything.
He was the one who would see what no other saw in me.  

Laughter filled my belly.
Poetry filled my ears.
Kisses covered my skin.
Passion blurred my vision.
In this was promise.

Tonight was for us.
As I combed through my lashes and adjusted my bow, I promised to show the last of me tonight. Nolan.
My shadow, I was sure, would see what no one saw.  

I walked into the restaurant to find him on his knee,
A ring clad with diamonds in his hand.
The strong melody of a stringed instrument bounced off the walls.
Light shone around him as darkness made a hedge around the beam.
With glistening eyes and near-exploding nerves he asked me to be his bride...
For a minute, all I could think of was Nolan.
Would he take us both?
'Yes'... I said 'yes'.
The room reverberated with claps as light ate up the darknss.
Surprises. I love them.
The world had witnessed it all.

I pulled him to a quiet corner.
"You should know something"
"What is it my love?" he asked as he kissed my face playfully.
My pulse quickened as the words clogged my throat.
I held unto faith that this would be perfect.
"I had no idea that you would propose tonight. I hoped to show you something else. Nolan. He's my son. He's a beautiful child. I..." I was interrupted by change.
He froze.
The kisses stopped and he held me still as he looked into my eyes.
It felt as though shards of ice pierced through my skin.
His touch suddenly burnt my skin.
His gaze was cold like death.
The scales fell from his eyes and he walked away.
He saw what others saw.
A tarnished woman.  

I stood there watching him and his friends talk.
Must have been about me.
I saw one shake his head and another snap his finger.
Shadow gulped down something in a glass and threw the glass on the wall.
He forbade me, Rejected me, abhorred me.
I was soiled... 'Mother of a bastard'.
His friends patted his back as he cursed the knowledge of me in regret.
A tear ran down my cheek leaving a trail of pain.
Insanity tore through me and I wailed.
I ran wildly, calling for Nolan.
Nobody cared enough to run after me.
Nolan was outside waiting for me.
I had asked a friend to hold him there.
I was supposed to bring him in after I told 'Shadow'.

I took my son in my arms and wept uncontrollably.
'Mama' he kept calling, his little hands all over my face.
They had seen a lie.
For my miracle, he saw a curse.
For my blessing, he saw a burden.
He saw everything but me;
The 'me'  worthy of love,
The 'me' he could love,
The 'me' that was true,
The 'me' he would never have.  

The ring suddenly felt like a yoke.
I pulled it off and threw it blindly into the dark night.
With it, I cast off all the pain.
I wiped my tears, kissed my son and walked away.
..............................................................................................................................................................
We live in a society that thrives on stereotypes. An unmarried pregnant woman has to be a slut. A well groomed young man is most likely gay. We are forced align our lives with often baseless beliefs which are meant to curb decadence.
We forget that in life, things are not black or white. Some things are grey and should be treated as such. I am not making excuses for people who have careless sexual relations. I am only saying that sometimes, stories and motives differ. An unwanted baby is enough consquence. The society should cease to inflict more pain on mother and child.
People have diverse beliefs and I respect that. While you do not want to marry a single mother or father, you need not hurt them to prove that.
Recently, I was having a conversation with my mum and aunts and everyone started to dissect a young unmarried woman who recently had a baby. I had to come to her rescue, not because her actions are morally upright but because she is human and makes mistakes and has probably learnt a lesson or two. Nobody sees that she may become a more responsible person, a caretaker, a fighter, a teacher, a lover and a breadwinner.

This brings me to the question a friend asked me some weeks ago.
'Who would you rather marry: a divorcee or a single parent?'
Please drop your comments and opinions below..

xoxo,
Nazzy

ILLUSIONS OF WEALTH.

   I'm on my way to something new...I got a job, well an internship with Citibank @ Lagos and my dad happily burst my bubble by opting for a road trip. Phew! Else, I wudav gotten my usual window seat and flown to Lag in less than 45mins. Trust me, the view of Nigerian untarred and jagged roads is nothing close to the view of clouds and the sky... But hey, it's more reasonable to make do with what you have right? So you see, I came fully armed with a tab, a kindle and 3 new books. I must not forget to add a long playlist and working headphones. However, I have succeeded in sleeping for the better part of the trip...I'm only human.


   I've been toying on whether or not to start writing a novel for some time now *pause* please think well before encouraging me cuz I have tonnes of incomplete works, hence disappointing previous "encouragers". Seriously, I think I wanna start and finish this time. Naturally, I was thinking of titles and themes and 'Illusions of wealth' is one of them. This post wasn't planned but by the time I decided I wanted to write something given the trend of my thoughts, I could think of nothing but 'Illusions of Wealth' as a topic. So, this is me borrowing the topic from myself for a blogpost. I'll definitely return it when the time comes.

    Just as I hoped, I got a seat by the window and started my sleep tournament. The bus driver deemed it fit to stop as often as possible for some reason......extremely annoying. This time, he stopped somewhere in Edo state. The place had a number of streams and he parked just by one, only we were on a higher plane. Just then, I noticed four kids taking a bath/swim and that had to be the most delightful bath/swim I've ever seen. They seemed so giddy swimming stark naked and splashing the not-so-clean water on themselves. I was enraptured by the scene especially when I noticed that one of the kids is about 3yrs old and was being thought howta swim by an older kid. I just kept kept staring till I called myself back....before my seatmate starts thinking I'm some perv checking out the lil black bumbums of the little boys.

    As I stared at the kids, I began to see that wealth isn't necessarily life and that many are living under the illusion that they have functional lives just because they have fat accounts.

   Wealth doesn't buy you some kind of happiness; you shudav seen the happy look on their faces or heard the ecstasy in their voices.

   Wealth doesn't buy you bravery, it can only boost your ego. It takes a wealth of bravery to let your kids including a 3yr old to go to that kinda stream without adult company. They didn't let the fear of kidnappers, drowning or catching a cold to keep them from having a blast with nature. Rich kids can only boast of memories void of the zing of nature...and prolly full of cartoons.

    Wealth doesn't neccessarily buy you a bright future; the fact that all those kids can only afford birthday suits when they go swimming today doesn't mean they can't afford better tomorrow.

    Everybody wants to be rich and successful and many forget to build actual lives in the process. We ignore opportunities to experience new things and pounce on any slight chance to earn more. Learn new things especially the weird and challenging: how to tango (definitely on my to-do list), surf, skii, fish etc.
Have a romance with nature and acquire the essence of life.
P.S: There's a huge difference between living and existing.

xoxo,
Nazzy.