ON DECIDING TO BE BEAUTIFUL

So guys, here’s the thing. I have been drowning recently; drowning in the ocean of activities that make up my life. I have lost weight recently, acquired eye bags the size of Texas and broken down one or two times. Let’s not even talk about the needs vs pockets ratio.

Needless to say, contrary to my plans and hopes for starting the New Year, I haven’t been entirely happy lately. This has turned me into such a nag that I sometimes cringe when I start with these rants. At some point, it was okay to rant; I mean I have the right to. It’s me we’re talking about here. But somewhere along the line, I realized that I was actually becoming sad. In the two weeks, I have broken down in serious tears about thrice and shouted more times than I can count. My countenance became sour and every day, the ball of negative energy around me expanded and somehow got tighter.

I am not going to delve into some of the issues I have been dealing with since I do not have the privilege of being an anonymous blogger but here’s the deal: I HAVE CHOSEN TO BE HAPPY. I made a choice to be at peace with myself last year and by God’s grace, that turned out amazing. I was in my ACCA class on Saturday and whilst classes were going on, I was bus making lists of my immediate needs and attaching price tags to them. By the time I was done, I understood why some parents pop B.P pills after looking at their children’s lists.

After dwelling on these needs for quite some time, I decided that although it’s quite disappointing that I may not be able to afford all at the moment, they are not worth my happiness. So guess what, I dropped all that burden somewhere along Ojuelegba and moved on. I mean, when has God not had my back?

I retraced my steps and decided to uphold some of the decisions I made with taking good care of myself being one of those at the top of the list. So I thought you might want to hear some of my year-long resolutions. Note that I didn’t use the term “New Year.”

§  I decided to start zinging my water with lemons and other fruits. My citrus zinger water bottle is already "IN" and I’ve got tons of recipes waiting to be tried out. Yass Fit Fam!!!

§  I decided to start pampering my skin and believe me when I say that most of the things on that list were for my hair and face. Anyways, I walked into Montaigne Place and walked out with 3 bottles of awesomeness in a Clarins range.

§  I decided to stop being grumpy and get around to chores that I felt like are not in my jurisdiction. Like I won’t let myself be uncomfortable cuz I’m too pissed at you for not doing your job; I’ll go ahead and do what I can cuz I’ve got standards and there’s no way your smallness is messing with them.

§  I decided to eat fruits every single night; I need to have that healthy glow. Who knows? Shining bright like a diamond can get a girl a diamond. Lol.

§  I decided to stick to black soap…Yes, you heard me. I have been using Cussons Baby Soap for some years and as you all know, I’m a grown woman whose skin has grown-up issues plus my mum decided that she was done with my child support programme. So I discovered FOREVER LIVING AVOCADO BAR which is amazing and does a fine job of making me N1000 poorer every two weeks or so. Then I went to Akwa Ibom state for work and an old friend introduced me to this jar of black gooey sweetness called “ATONG.”

I’ll skip the details and jump to the part where I started using Dudu-Osun thereafter. So far, I’m loving it. It’s cleared some of the zits I had on my chest and back and the rest of my body is glowing. I was a bit skeptical about using it on my face and just stuck to my Neutrogena face wash. I also read reviews on Dudu-Osun online and many people had amazing stuff to say about it. I also learned that I can use it for my hair. Can I get a “Halleluyah”?

*REVIEW ON MY BEAUTY REGIMEN COMING SOON AS A VLOG*

§  I decided to be more disciplined. I want to remain a Risk Consultant and become a professional blogger/vlogger this year and these appeal to my discipline and sense of priority. I’ll have to work smart, write better, shoot better and just be more efficient generally speaking. I’d also have to make out more time for squats (and the dumbells for those just arrived...yayy!) and making salads and smoothies. You’re probably asking why I can’t fit the four lines above into 365 days without tackling discipline. Well, if you’ve set goals that you are determined to achieve this year and realize that the first the first month is always gone, you’d have the answer to your questions.

§  I decided to build a great reputation among most people I’d come in contact with this year. Basically just be a beautiful person on the inside and on the outside. I know I can’t do this alone, and am constantly asking for help form God.

I HAVE DECIDED TO BE A REALLY BEAUTIFUL PERSON ALL-ROUND OR ELSE WHAT’S THE ESSENCE OF BEARING A NAME THAT MEANS “BEAUTY COMES FROM GOD”?

Xoxo,

Nazzy

CHRONICLES OF 2015

I know you thought I wouldn’t show up. Don’t think about it; just give me a hug!

Last year was beautiful and I’m not saying this because I feel lucky enough to have seen a new year. It’s true because since I became an adult, I haven’t experienced an age or time in which I had to take absolute responsibility of things around me. I was an independent adult facing life in its barest form.

I had real hard times; not the kind you face because they are a family burden but the kind that become all yours and no one’s. I had choices dance before my eyes, each teasing me with its pros and scaring me with its cons. I was the wind; heavy and dark one some days and light and fast on others.

Above all, I LEARNED TO TRUST GOD ABSOLUTELY AND IN RETURN HE TAUGHT ME THE TRUE MEANING OF JOY. I LEARNED THAT EACH ASPECT OF MY LIFE IS A JIGSAW PUZZLE LYING ON MY FATHER’S LAPS GRADUALLY BECOMING THE PICTURE HE HAS IN HIS HAND. I LEARNED THE TRUE MEANING OF JOY AND NOW, NOTHING CAN STEAL THAT FROM ME.

I faced a lot of challenges but unlike other years, I was joyful and completely at peace and although not all plans came through, the best of Him through me came to life. In as few words as I can manage, here’s my tale of triumph:

•        I learned to listen to the word and became closer to God.
•          I kept the best of friends and learned not to underestimate the power of positive energy around you.
•          Nobody in my family was hospitalized; that hasn’t happened in a while so it’s a mind-blowing milestone.
•          I found favor with people.
•          Love came my way...I eventually let it go but I found beautiful moments and made memories of them… And it’ll be waiting at the next junction so spare me the “aww”
•          I got admitted to a master’s program and a top school in the U.K.
•          I got a great job in a multinational. (“Great” here is a synonym for stressful and nomadic in nature lol)
•          I led the choir in church.
•          I spent a night on the beach…you think you’ve seen it all until the sea sings you to sleep.
•          I bought new shoes and clothes and fabrics. What? Don’t you know some people are naked?
•          I wrote more beautiful pieces, stretching myself to uncover more deep and amazing parts of myself.
•          I ventured into spoken word; I entered into a talent competition, did a few of my pieces and came second. Anyway, the gist is that you can now call me “a spoken word artist.”
•          I got extra piercings on my ears and learned to love fura di nono. I hope I got that right.
•          I reunited with one of my best friends and then made some new ones.
•          God answered one of my prayers with a miracle for the family. Ehen? Must you know everything?
•          I finally bought a brand new Nikon D Series camera. Thanks to Jumia on black Friday, we can finally get around to that Youtube channel and blog expansion. Please help me beg work to give me a break now and then.
•          I took a decision to become the “Proverbs 31” woman and to love the “1 Cor 13” way. Without all that last year brought my way, I may not be on this journey right now.

Happy New Year my lovelies. You were an amazing part of my 2015 and I hope we all stay strong, loving and helping each other grow. This year is for miracles and the nature of God shining through us. Make the best of it and do not hesitate to be super amazing with no apologies.

Take every moment and create at least a fraction of your dream out of it.

Take every person and create a friend out of him/her.

Take all that you are and create a reflection of God on earth.

Lace every deed with a drop of eternity; something beautiful that someone somewhere will never forget.

Xoxo,

Nazzy

ChRiStMaS AND fEeLiNgS

Hello beautiful people,
I apologize for bringing my warm wishes late but hey, after the main course comes dessert right? Merry Christmas and a very happy new year in advance.

Honestly, I'd say this is officially the worst Christmas I've had in ages my life. The parents traveled together and are having a fabulous, white Christmas while my siblings and I are juggling the boredom and harmattan. The beauty of life is that 'I can do my kids back'...Yep! *Nigerian English shaa*

Despite the not-so-amazing Christmas, I'm at a point in my life when ingratitude is not an option. So I'd say I'm grateful to God for everything.

Let me also say that right now, I'm overwhelmed with feelings...
I feel grateful for where I am, given where I'm coming from.
I feel hopeful; for tomorrow, for the realization of my dreams, for the testimonies I'll have.
I feel nothing... Yes! Sometimes, I just feel nothing.
I feel loved. When I think about God, my family, my friends and of course you, my readers, I feel loved.
I feel scared; the uncertainty that engulfs tomorrow comes with that.
I feel sure... Sure that it'll all get better in time.
I feel happy. My blog experienced a breakthrough in November and December. I got views from countries I didn't know existed. Thank you for that. :)
I feel disappointed... in myself, for the moments I wasted, steps I didn't take and vital things I took for granted. But then, I have tomorrow to make up for the those.
I feel sorry... Sorry for those who let me go, for 'him' who lacked the courage to fight for me, and for those who in their folly think I'm going nowhere.
I feel angry...that some things haven't changed, that I have exams in January and have to read during the Christmas hols, that I've been angry for some time.
I feel strong.....for those I love, for myself. Its called self-propelling.
I feel its Christmas and that Christ came with newness.So I'm holding unto that and starting afresh. I'll try to do everything better this time. Like kissing, I'll close my eyes, take the risk, savor the outcome and well, hope it won't be sloppy.

This Christmas, I promise you a better blog so be sure to make a return trip. I'll be ready for you.

Lastly, its my dad's birthday and I wish him the very best. I'm thankful for having the best dad in the world.
Love,
Nazzy

A DIALOGUE WITH MY DUAL

As I stared into the silver piece of glass, I saw her.
She looked just like me...
Only she was different..........
Different from who I thought I'd see.
Her sclera shone white but her pupils radiated dimly.
Her mouth looked smart but she wouldn't say a word.
She was looking back at me as though I was a rival...
As though I wasn't me.

Amidst our differences,
there was a sense of understanding,
a unity of emotions.
Our eyes told each other our stories.
We both felt the emptiness.
I felt the pain but she seemed to feel nothing.
I felt weak but in those dimly lit eyes of hers, I saw strength.
Her lips were sealed in firm resolve;
She was done crying,
and I was thankful for that.
I didn't need another weeping heart.
I needed the hope that coursed out of her.

No, we weren't on the same page.
She had set herself free, and was going to live again.
I thought I heard her voice in my head entreating me to do the same.
I yearned for her...
To be strong and calm and beautiful...
To be sane.

She smiled at me;
I had gotten the message.
She had made sure of that.
I was going to be her;
The me I saw in the mirror.
A better me.
The stronger me.
Then she turned to leave
And so did I.
...................................................................................................................................................................



*Sometimes, waves of emotions hit us and then we see the clearer picture. I've seen mine and I hope you do too*
READ! SHARE!! COMMENT!!!

xoxo,
Nazzy

ME, YOU, THIS AND THAT

It is 3.00 am by my time and I wouldn't quite sleep well without saying this:
Everyday I plan- Its one thing I am great at doing. I want to be a better singer, I want to be a great dancer, I want to be one of the greatest fashion architects/designers, I want to be a finance guru, I want live a glamorous life... I want so many things but in all my dreaming and planning, I have failed to 'do' and so, I'm still here, planning.
Many call it talent, some call it luck but I'd say its sheer grace... how else can you explain me? I'm a  tank full with gifts and yet my indecision and reluctance has kept you from knowing that. Today, I am tired of seeing people who can do what i can do excel while i sit here, planning.

I am a fashion illustrator... I am sick of having my sketch pads eaten by termites and drawing pretty dresses for my friends when they need to look good. So hey, this is me putting myself out there. Soon enough, I'll begin to feature some of my works on my blog. Do let me know if there are any openings at any renowned fashion houses.

I write...and I love how i can coin a beautiful article from a random thought. Yet, everyday, I sit and cross out tonnes of articles that might make this blog a better one. I used to sit and be able to trust myself to come up with something interesting, deep or even funny. Now, i spend to much time worrying about blog traffic that i hardly trust any article to do the job. Every time, I make videos for my blog and never upload them for the silliest reasons. I always see a reason for not doing what i should do and then I bother that things in that area aren't getting better. How ironic right? Rome wasn't built in a day. So, I'll do my best to be the best i can be and watch it blossom with time.

They say I sing, I say I try. That intro should let you know that I'm not as confident in my voice as some others are. The truth is, I know I've got some talent in the area but i think it needs a lot of refining and practice. I always go on about how I'll get a voice training as soon as I leave Nigeria. Why can't I start now?

I am in my final year and I'll say I'm a good student. I'm an econ major who loves math a lot and is very interested in finance and risk assessment because of my long term goals. I'm having hard time choosing between what i need to do and what I ought to do. Maybe what I ought to do isn't what I should be doing. I have to learn to live for me.

I'm very ambitious and I'd say principled to an extent. I love to have fun and be adventurous- within reasonable limits. On the other hand, I hate to be taken for granted and am way too independent. So sometimes, I shut in the free-spirited person in me because I need the control and the respect that comes with it. But then, I'm learning that no one has it all figured out and maybe, i should let go a little. I will open myself to possibilities and trust the unknown to treat me right.

I am sick of my fears making decisions for me, I'm sick of praying for God to do things for me that I can do myself. I am taking up the initiative to be heard and I will be. I'm done making excuses for myself or telling myself 'Its not yet time'. I am tired of not having God in the picture all the time. I'm done being a worse version of myself.
Tell who you can who I am... Tell them that I'm done hiding... Tell them there has been a "ME-REVOLUTION".

This is my blog and this is where I speak from. I will strive to write more, draw more, sing more, laugh more, pray more, work more and fear less. i will strive to be a  better me the best me that I can be.
I still have a lot to say but I have to catch some sleep now...

Happy Sunday my lovelies,
Nazzy

EGGS WITH EARS.

So there's this really...well, you might call it 'weird' but I call it 'sensational'.... Yeah, so there's this really sensational thing I do where I talk to the eggs in my ovaries. Okay stop looking at me like that! People do weirder stuff... And no, I'm not pregnant so its not like I talk to an actual baby growing in me.

Here's how it works:
I see a picture of a really cute family and I turn to my tummy and say "hey kids (well they are kids to be so...), y'all should select the cutest and smartest four eggs and keep them safe. Don't tell me you lost 'em in a cycle...cuz I don't want any ugly or dumb kids". OR friends and I could be gisting 'bout our roles as mums and how we'd treat our kids and I'm like "Are you guys hearing? Y'all better be of good behaviour or else...na daily cane una go dey chop". *not like I'm tryna scare them ooh* My mum says you should always speak life into stuff no matter how distant or non existent it might seem.

I'm not making this up, I actually do it.lmao. Now I know these are not real kids but you must remember that they are potential babies. And if real babies can hear and take instructions, they just might be able to do the same. They have a 'life' potential in them.

This applies to dreams and ambitions. Unrealized dreams are like eggs, still in their comfort zone. You must recognize your dreams and gifts as having the potential to be realized. You must believe that they can' be' someday and must not neglect nurturing them as such. It's like incubating an egg. The hen sends a message of warmth, care and hope to the eggs, and the chicks find in these the strength to hatch. I'm not sure that's precisely how it works scientifically...but hey! Its is my theory.

You must learn to think of the intangible as tangible to pull them into existence. Your dreams are a blueprint of your future which must be envisaged and related with. The tongue has made the world's greatest impossibilities possible. So why don't you explore that god-like capability embedded in you? And if you're dumb, like literally (no hard feelings), you can communicate with your eggs through your thoughts and actions...believe me, they can hear soundless voices.

So my point is,
Eggs in ovaries can eventually become human,
Shelled eggs can turn to be chicks,
Nothing has turned to be the world
And your dreams can turn to be the next you.
Talk to the eggs!!!... whatever they are.

Btw, yesterday I loosened my hair and I loved what i saw.. My real hair is near natural and I love it's bounce. So i rocked my natural afro like never before and I almost lost my voice saying 'thank you'  to compliments. Here are a few pictures I took.
P.S: Stop with the incessant use of hair relaxers and stuff... Excessive use of hair chemicals is bad for hair growth and health. Expect a post on DIY tips for the hair.










xoxo,
Nazzy