ChRiStMaS AND fEeLiNgS

Hello beautiful people,
I apologize for bringing my warm wishes late but hey, after the main course comes dessert right? Merry Christmas and a very happy new year in advance.

Honestly, I'd say this is officially the worst Christmas I've had in ages my life. The parents traveled together and are having a fabulous, white Christmas while my siblings and I are juggling the boredom and harmattan. The beauty of life is that 'I can do my kids back'...Yep! *Nigerian English shaa*

Despite the not-so-amazing Christmas, I'm at a point in my life when ingratitude is not an option. So I'd say I'm grateful to God for everything.

Let me also say that right now, I'm overwhelmed with feelings...
I feel grateful for where I am, given where I'm coming from.
I feel hopeful; for tomorrow, for the realization of my dreams, for the testimonies I'll have.
I feel nothing... Yes! Sometimes, I just feel nothing.
I feel loved. When I think about God, my family, my friends and of course you, my readers, I feel loved.
I feel scared; the uncertainty that engulfs tomorrow comes with that.
I feel sure... Sure that it'll all get better in time.
I feel happy. My blog experienced a breakthrough in November and December. I got views from countries I didn't know existed. Thank you for that. :)
I feel disappointed... in myself, for the moments I wasted, steps I didn't take and vital things I took for granted. But then, I have tomorrow to make up for the those.
I feel sorry... Sorry for those who let me go, for 'him' who lacked the courage to fight for me, and for those who in their folly think I'm going nowhere.
I feel angry...that some things haven't changed, that I have exams in January and have to read during the Christmas hols, that I've been angry for some time.
I feel strong.....for those I love, for myself. Its called self-propelling.
I feel its Christmas and that Christ came with newness.So I'm holding unto that and starting afresh. I'll try to do everything better this time. Like kissing, I'll close my eyes, take the risk, savor the outcome and well, hope it won't be sloppy.

This Christmas, I promise you a better blog so be sure to make a return trip. I'll be ready for you.

Lastly, its my dad's birthday and I wish him the very best. I'm thankful for having the best dad in the world.
Love,
Nazzy