Saturday, December 7, 2013

A LETTER TO HIM

          
Hello lovers,
In case you haven't figured, I am one huge awesome bundle of drama. Yes, I can be very dramatic; I'm my mum's daughter. You must also know that I am a 'pro fantasizer'. I can literally sit for hours just planning and dreaming about how fab my life would be a couple of years from now- Career, Marriage, Motherhood, Travels....just name it. For instance, I already have the details of my honeymoon on ground and I don't even have a steady relationship yet. (Did you just shake your head at me?) Of course I know life isn't full of fairytales but I don't let that rob me of my plans, dreams and fantasies. Plus, with the right attitude and God, many of those can come true.

I take marriage very seriously and its one thing I look forward to and hope I do right. I know no man or woman is perfect but understanding and complementing your strengths and weaknesses is what matters. I know I can be over dramatic sometimes, and can eat nougats, pizza and marshmallows from now till next year, and that I have an terribly funny and bizarre bucket list but there has to be someone who'll accept those because he loves me and will even indulge me sometimes.

So on the 30th of October 2012, I came up with this ridiculously heartfelt long letter to 'him'. Note that this is not a rigid checklist. I hope you smile or laugh or say a couple of 'aww's.

Dear him,
        Hope you're great? Its funny I don't even know whether or not I've met you or not. You've probably walked past me some time at the mall or even sat beside me at a movie. Its all good cuz I'll meet you in the end.
        You know how people say that you just won't find a perfect guy and that you make yourselves perfect for each other. That's why I'm writing you this letter. Someone has to take the first step right? Not to sound vain but you know, we both have to put some things in place before sealing the deal. I really want you yo know some things if we are gonna stay together long enough to have a golden jubilee. You should know that I'm trying really hard to be the ideal woman: Christian, decent, a great cook, hot, romantic, fun, smart and well educated....blablabla. Maybe I'm not there yet but I'm trying. Just so you know, 
  • I'd love you to be my best friend.....and best friends don't keep secrets from each other.
  • I'd love you to be blunt with me; Be able to tell me anything no matter how bizarre, silly or even harsh (I'm not saying you should be screaming at me oo)
  • I'd love you to be pretty sensitive to my needs; I love to be cuddled and held and I don't want to ask before I get any 'sugar'.
  • I'd love you to be patient; We women have our horrible, tantrum-throwing moments and a patient man should work the magic. You need not shut us up with your fists. A wide grin or compliment or kiss should work. In extreme cases, ignore us and marry your newspaper, we usually advise ourselves at this point. Who wants to compete with 'the newspaper'?
  • I'd love you to be spontaneous; Like surprise me with exotic gifts, the very cute thoughtful gifts, quickies in the elevators... (Don't look at me like that now...Its just these hollywood movies messing with my head) and any other things I haven't thought of all through my fantasy series.
  • I'd love you to be the eyes through which I can see things differently from how I see them.
  • I'd love you to love God as well; pray with me, pray for me, pray on my behalf. In loving you, let my love for God grow.
  • Please be romantic; Make me breakfast in bed (not every morning of course. I know you've got work) and be my very best masseuse [better than what any spa has to offer ;) ]. And I love those hugs from behind. They are the cutest gestures ever.
  • Be so proud of me that your friends will get back home and go all 'can't you be like Mr -----'s wife?' on their wives.
  • I'd love it if you'd have a wonderful scent and fresh breath. I have this refined raw hatred for body odors and bad breath. Remember I have to kiss you very often. Well...I'm not sure we'd get as far as the altar if these areas are no-go areas.
  • Oh please, have time for the kids and I. I want them to spend some time with you everyday and we'd probably take turns to tell them bedtime stories. I want us to have time to talk about our day cuz you'll be my personal diary. You should also know that I have two lovely names for our daughters. You should pick out names for the boys. We'll pick out their Nigerian names together.
  • Now I beg you, please be faithful! Like I said before, I'm tryna be the 'it' woman so I'd try not to give you any reason to look outside. I dunno how I'd take it so I'd rather it'd not be an option.
  • I'd love it if you loved me so much and knew me so well that you could read my lips from 40 metres away, that your heartbeat will be in sync with mine, that we'd have our private jokes and understand our thoughts by just exchanging glances, that you'd be so restless if you knew I wasn't smiling, that you'd look beyond my imperfections and teach me to be the one you'd love, that you'd never look me in the eyes and lie to me, that I'd be the cure to your insanity.
  • I'd love it if you were intellectual with a great sense of humor. I have a sound sense of humor and I'm the queen of sarcasm. Besides, I love witty banters and want to be able to hold reasonable convos with you.
  • I'd love it if you were daring, and would do really crazy things with me without caring about status or people around and what they have to say about us. Teach me to be a braver woman.
  • It'll be a bonus if you're tall cuz I'm not. I'd love it if you can play an instrument or can speak french, or if you can handle Italian cuisine, or can sing beautifully, or can tango gracefully, or can surf or skii. Well, if you can't  do any, we'd probably learn together.
  • I'd love it if you'd let me love you and care for you in my own way; Just savor and appreciate my gestures and help me live the happy life I want. Honey, is that too much to ask?
                Finally, since I haven't so much as met you, let me just say "I love you in advance".
                                                                                                                       Yours sincerely,
                                                                                                                       Future Wife.