Monday, July 1, 2013


My disposition of weddings has been a function of phases of my life. When I was kid, I loved them. I was in almost every bridal train. I didn't even have to know the couple; I just had to be the sister-in-law's friend's daughter or the tailor's daughter's friend. Fabulousity tho.. When I grew into my teens, i hated weddings; sheer waste of time and Lawd, they were boring. No one was my mate, you'd find the couple, kids and adults. Finally, NOW! I totally dig them. My friends are getting married so i can relate to being a part of the whole thing and secondly, it's a sure way to keep up with fashion trends. You also get to doll yourself up and get a couple of 'hi's and 'hey, your daughter is so grown and pretty'. Bottom line is that i'm at the exciting phase.

The paragraph above is not even my main point. My point is that these days, the couple barely know half the people coming to help them spend their money all in the name of celebration. I attended a wedding a week ago and it was some experience. The couple are from high-brow families so the high and mighty in Imo state were present. I sat with my sister on a table next to a table reserved for a permanent secretary in the state. Just then, two old men came and sat on the table knowing fully well that it was reserved for someone else. One of the men was just screaming about not standing no matter what happened. He even went further to displace the tag by placing it under the flower vase, thinking no one saw him... He just had to be a wedding crasher or at most, a random villager. It wasn't my wedding but i was ultra pissed on behalf of the couple. I was fuming by the time refreshments landed. These brutally shameless men devoured everything that passed by them with avid impunity. The most irritating part was that i could hear the "schlop schlop" sounds they made while chewing. As if that wasn't enough, they chewed with their mouths so open that i could practically see their tonsils (hey! I'm entitled to the use of hyperbole). It took all the self control i had not to make a video of these dudes. You'd have thought that would be the limit but... *exhales* When it got to the presentation of gifts, the more aggressive man got an envelope from an usher and proudly filled it with about a hundred-and-something naira. I just hadta my mind ofcourse.

My point is that it is simply awful that such people take the responsibility of stealing the glamour off these weddings. Honestly, most of 'em are random people from the village who would gladly seize the opportunity to grab a good plate of rice, and they do not know the difference  between their town/village meetings and weddings. At that wedding, some dignitaries who initially had tables reserved for them had to stand awhile before alternative arrangements were quickly made. That might have ended differently with the actual guests upset and the hosts embarrassed. I attended a wedding some time ago were something similar happened just because a bunch of random villagers chartered a bus to the wedding venue. I'm not saying weddings are for only city folks oo. I just think there should be a way to ensure that entrance is strictly by invitation. Ofcourse there'll be few exemptions but then the town meeting syndrome slowly creeping into wedding scenes would have been minimized to barest minimum.
In all, the wedding was a great one. Congrats Nwanne and Ogb.
For the records, that's me on that day and there's my lil sis in the lil black dress. :)

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