Sunday, November 17, 2013

ME, YOU, THIS AND THAT

It is 3.00 am by my time and I wouldn't quite sleep well without saying this:
Everyday I plan- Its one thing I am great at doing. I want to be a better singer, I want to be a great dancer, I want to be one of the greatest fashion architects/designers, I want to be a finance guru, I want live a glamorous life... I want so many things but in all my dreaming and planning, I have failed to 'do' and so, I'm still here, planning.
Many call it talent, some call it luck but I'd say its sheer grace... how else can you explain me? I'm a  tank full with gifts and yet my indecision and reluctance has kept you from knowing that. Today, I am tired of seeing people who can do what i can do excel while i sit here, planning.

I am a fashion illustrator... I am sick of having my sketch pads eaten by termites and drawing pretty dresses for my friends when they need to look good. So hey, this is me putting myself out there. Soon enough, I'll begin to feature some of my works on my blog. Do let me know if there are any openings at any renowned fashion houses.

I write...and I love how i can coin a beautiful article from a random thought. Yet, everyday, I sit and cross out tonnes of articles that might make this blog a better one. I used to sit and be able to trust myself to come up with something interesting, deep or even funny. Now, i spend to much time worrying about blog traffic that i hardly trust any article to do the job. Every time, I make videos for my blog and never upload them for the silliest reasons. I always see a reason for not doing what i should do and then I bother that things in that area aren't getting better. How ironic right? Rome wasn't built in a day. So, I'll do my best to be the best i can be and watch it blossom with time.

They say I sing, I say I try. That intro should let you know that I'm not as confident in my voice as some others are. The truth is, I know I've got some talent in the area but i think it needs a lot of refining and practice. I always go on about how I'll get a voice training as soon as I leave Nigeria. Why can't I start now?

I am in my final year and I'll say I'm a good student. I'm an econ major who loves math a lot and is very interested in finance and risk assessment because of my long term goals. I'm having hard time choosing between what i need to do and what I ought to do. Maybe what I ought to do isn't what I should be doing. I have to learn to live for me.

I'm very ambitious and I'd say principled to an extent. I love to have fun and be adventurous- within reasonable limits. On the other hand, I hate to be taken for granted and am way too independent. So sometimes, I shut in the free-spirited person in me because I need the control and the respect that comes with it. But then, I'm learning that no one has it all figured out and maybe, i should let go a little. I will open myself to possibilities and trust the unknown to treat me right.

I am sick of my fears making decisions for me, I'm sick of praying for God to do things for me that I can do myself. I am taking up the initiative to be heard and I will be. I'm done making excuses for myself or telling myself 'Its not yet time'. I am tired of not having God in the picture all the time. I'm done being a worse version of myself.
Tell who you can who I am... Tell them that I'm done hiding... Tell them there has been a "ME-REVOLUTION".

This is my blog and this is where I speak from. I will strive to write more, draw more, sing more, laugh more, pray more, work more and fear less. i will strive to be a  better me the best me that I can be.
I still have a lot to say but I have to catch some sleep now...

Happy Sunday my lovelies,
Nazzy