ON DECIDING TO BE BEAUTIFUL

So guys, here’s the thing. I have been drowning recently; drowning in the ocean of activities that make up my life. I have lost weight recently, acquired eye bags the size of Texas and broken down one or two times. Let’s not even talk about the needs vs pockets ratio.

Needless to say, contrary to my plans and hopes for starting the New Year, I haven’t been entirely happy lately. This has turned me into such a nag that I sometimes cringe when I start with these rants. At some point, it was okay to rant; I mean I have the right to. It’s me we’re talking about here. But somewhere along the line, I realized that I was actually becoming sad. In the two weeks, I have broken down in serious tears about thrice and shouted more times than I can count. My countenance became sour and every day, the ball of negative energy around me expanded and somehow got tighter.

I am not going to delve into some of the issues I have been dealing with since I do not have the privilege of being an anonymous blogger but here’s the deal: I HAVE CHOSEN TO BE HAPPY. I made a choice to be at peace with myself last year and by God’s grace, that turned out amazing. I was in my ACCA class on Saturday and whilst classes were going on, I was bus making lists of my immediate needs and attaching price tags to them. By the time I was done, I understood why some parents pop B.P pills after looking at their children’s lists.

After dwelling on these needs for quite some time, I decided that although it’s quite disappointing that I may not be able to afford all at the moment, they are not worth my happiness. So guess what, I dropped all that burden somewhere along Ojuelegba and moved on. I mean, when has God not had my back?

I retraced my steps and decided to uphold some of the decisions I made with taking good care of myself being one of those at the top of the list. So I thought you might want to hear some of my year-long resolutions. Note that I didn’t use the term “New Year.”

§  I decided to start zinging my water with lemons and other fruits. My citrus zinger water bottle is already "IN" and I’ve got tons of recipes waiting to be tried out. Yass Fit Fam!!!

§  I decided to start pampering my skin and believe me when I say that most of the things on that list were for my hair and face. Anyways, I walked into Montaigne Place and walked out with 3 bottles of awesomeness in a Clarins range.

§  I decided to stop being grumpy and get around to chores that I felt like are not in my jurisdiction. Like I won’t let myself be uncomfortable cuz I’m too pissed at you for not doing your job; I’ll go ahead and do what I can cuz I’ve got standards and there’s no way your smallness is messing with them.

§  I decided to eat fruits every single night; I need to have that healthy glow. Who knows? Shining bright like a diamond can get a girl a diamond. Lol.

§  I decided to stick to black soap…Yes, you heard me. I have been using Cussons Baby Soap for some years and as you all know, I’m a grown woman whose skin has grown-up issues plus my mum decided that she was done with my child support programme. So I discovered FOREVER LIVING AVOCADO BAR which is amazing and does a fine job of making me N1000 poorer every two weeks or so. Then I went to Akwa Ibom state for work and an old friend introduced me to this jar of black gooey sweetness called “ATONG.”

I’ll skip the details and jump to the part where I started using Dudu-Osun thereafter. So far, I’m loving it. It’s cleared some of the zits I had on my chest and back and the rest of my body is glowing. I was a bit skeptical about using it on my face and just stuck to my Neutrogena face wash. I also read reviews on Dudu-Osun online and many people had amazing stuff to say about it. I also learned that I can use it for my hair. Can I get a “Halleluyah”?

*REVIEW ON MY BEAUTY REGIMEN COMING SOON AS A VLOG*

§  I decided to be more disciplined. I want to remain a Risk Consultant and become a professional blogger/vlogger this year and these appeal to my discipline and sense of priority. I’ll have to work smart, write better, shoot better and just be more efficient generally speaking. I’d also have to make out more time for squats (and the dumbells for those just arrived...yayy!) and making salads and smoothies. You’re probably asking why I can’t fit the four lines above into 365 days without tackling discipline. Well, if you’ve set goals that you are determined to achieve this year and realize that the first the first month is always gone, you’d have the answer to your questions.

§  I decided to build a great reputation among most people I’d come in contact with this year. Basically just be a beautiful person on the inside and on the outside. I know I can’t do this alone, and am constantly asking for help form God.

I HAVE DECIDED TO BE A REALLY BEAUTIFUL PERSON ALL-ROUND OR ELSE WHAT’S THE ESSENCE OF BEARING A NAME THAT MEANS “BEAUTY COMES FROM GOD”?

Xoxo,

Nazzy

GROPING FOR A MAGIC WAND

When it comes down to it, I do not believe in fairytales. I don’t because despite the need to believe in them- to at least put a damper on the harsh realities of a world laced with scary stuff like ebola- they seem too far away. I know that all fingers are not equal but why should I be the one to have the little finger? Do you see where I’m coming from? Everybody tries to dissuade me from having fantasies that spice up my desires because they seem to be sure that I’ll eventually be disappointed when I don’t get them meanwhile someone somewhere has that same thing as his/her reality. I really do not understand why having a primal need to satisfy some desires I consider basic are always made out to be building castles in the air. It irks me that whenever I relate my desires or aspirations, there is always someone to point out how unrealistic some of them are and to what extent I’ll live an unhappy life when eventually I don’t get them. I don’t get why I can’t be one of the few that actually dream, believe and achieve. After all, there’s hardly any wish that has never come true before in some era or form. Why does everyone try so hard to make you believe that wanting a good thing is wanting too much? Has the world and its people deteriorated so badly that shooting stars have ceased to be awe-inspired because people are sure that no matter how much luck hovers around them, a wish made on seeing a shooting star will never come true, not even by coincidence.

Fortunately or unfortunately, I can’t help it. I can’t help stopping my imagination from running wild or my heart from racing after it. I can’t help seeing a huge conglomerate when I think of my career. I can’t help seeing a tall, hardworking, god-fearing, sensitive, ambitious guy when I think of my future husband. I can’t help seeing a hundred postcards crowding my refrigerator from all the places I’d have visited. I can’t help imagining my kids to be awfully cute and smart with dimples and who knows, maybe that photographic memory Lexi from Grey’s Anatomy has. I can’t help thinking of wine, chocolate, sweet scents, roses, silk and cuddling when I hear the word ‘romance’ although the average Nigerian man might not even know that those things mean anything at all. I can’t help seeing myself as some “Nazzirella” sometimes. I just can’t fight the pure magnificence that these day-dreams spiked with little wishes try to sneak into my very ordinary life in which I’m being forced to always be prepared for gloom rather than for splendor.

This has little to do with idealism but I refuse to accept that I can’t possibly be one of those people that stand as exceptions to all the ugly life stories flooding walls of fame. It is pretty much ironic because I have really had very rough moments years and many might be of the opinion that I should know better. Perhaps I do. I know that there’s no rule that says I have to wallow in difficulty just because the planet needs someone with whom it’ll to prove others that this isn’t Disneyland. There’s no rule that says things don’t get better and stay better, at least for a good measure of time. For me, believing that luck, purity, dream-come-trues and just a little magic are non-existent is just surrendering to defeat. I see all the evil floating carelessly and dropping unto the laps of unsuspecting people but for the sake of my sanity, I just have to believe that there are magical ways devised by forces of nature that tilt that scale just a little in the bid to create near-balance. I just need to live without fearing that death could snag me the next minute even though I know that that is an inevitable fact. I need to find happiness and freedom in my thoughts without being reminded every time that they might not be potent enough to become tangible tomorrow. I believe in the God who says that the desires of the righteous shall not be cut off; He set no boundaries to that. Now note that there is a line between a mere fantasy and desires but there are no limits to both. Wisdom is profitable to direct.

Who shares my sentiments?

ME, YOU, THIS AND THAT

It is 3.00 am by my time and I wouldn't quite sleep well without saying this:
Everyday I plan- Its one thing I am great at doing. I want to be a better singer, I want to be a great dancer, I want to be one of the greatest fashion architects/designers, I want to be a finance guru, I want live a glamorous life... I want so many things but in all my dreaming and planning, I have failed to 'do' and so, I'm still here, planning.
Many call it talent, some call it luck but I'd say its sheer grace... how else can you explain me? I'm a  tank full with gifts and yet my indecision and reluctance has kept you from knowing that. Today, I am tired of seeing people who can do what i can do excel while i sit here, planning.

I am a fashion illustrator... I am sick of having my sketch pads eaten by termites and drawing pretty dresses for my friends when they need to look good. So hey, this is me putting myself out there. Soon enough, I'll begin to feature some of my works on my blog. Do let me know if there are any openings at any renowned fashion houses.

I write...and I love how i can coin a beautiful article from a random thought. Yet, everyday, I sit and cross out tonnes of articles that might make this blog a better one. I used to sit and be able to trust myself to come up with something interesting, deep or even funny. Now, i spend to much time worrying about blog traffic that i hardly trust any article to do the job. Every time, I make videos for my blog and never upload them for the silliest reasons. I always see a reason for not doing what i should do and then I bother that things in that area aren't getting better. How ironic right? Rome wasn't built in a day. So, I'll do my best to be the best i can be and watch it blossom with time.

They say I sing, I say I try. That intro should let you know that I'm not as confident in my voice as some others are. The truth is, I know I've got some talent in the area but i think it needs a lot of refining and practice. I always go on about how I'll get a voice training as soon as I leave Nigeria. Why can't I start now?

I am in my final year and I'll say I'm a good student. I'm an econ major who loves math a lot and is very interested in finance and risk assessment because of my long term goals. I'm having hard time choosing between what i need to do and what I ought to do. Maybe what I ought to do isn't what I should be doing. I have to learn to live for me.

I'm very ambitious and I'd say principled to an extent. I love to have fun and be adventurous- within reasonable limits. On the other hand, I hate to be taken for granted and am way too independent. So sometimes, I shut in the free-spirited person in me because I need the control and the respect that comes with it. But then, I'm learning that no one has it all figured out and maybe, i should let go a little. I will open myself to possibilities and trust the unknown to treat me right.

I am sick of my fears making decisions for me, I'm sick of praying for God to do things for me that I can do myself. I am taking up the initiative to be heard and I will be. I'm done making excuses for myself or telling myself 'Its not yet time'. I am tired of not having God in the picture all the time. I'm done being a worse version of myself.
Tell who you can who I am... Tell them that I'm done hiding... Tell them there has been a "ME-REVOLUTION".

This is my blog and this is where I speak from. I will strive to write more, draw more, sing more, laugh more, pray more, work more and fear less. i will strive to be a  better me the best me that I can be.
I still have a lot to say but I have to catch some sleep now...

Happy Sunday my lovelies,
Nazzy

EGGS WITH EARS.

So there's this really...well, you might call it 'weird' but I call it 'sensational'.... Yeah, so there's this really sensational thing I do where I talk to the eggs in my ovaries. Okay stop looking at me like that! People do weirder stuff... And no, I'm not pregnant so its not like I talk to an actual baby growing in me.

Here's how it works:
I see a picture of a really cute family and I turn to my tummy and say "hey kids (well they are kids to be so...), y'all should select the cutest and smartest four eggs and keep them safe. Don't tell me you lost 'em in a cycle...cuz I don't want any ugly or dumb kids". OR friends and I could be gisting 'bout our roles as mums and how we'd treat our kids and I'm like "Are you guys hearing? Y'all better be of good behaviour or else...na daily cane una go dey chop". *not like I'm tryna scare them ooh* My mum says you should always speak life into stuff no matter how distant or non existent it might seem.

I'm not making this up, I actually do it.lmao. Now I know these are not real kids but you must remember that they are potential babies. And if real babies can hear and take instructions, they just might be able to do the same. They have a 'life' potential in them.

This applies to dreams and ambitions. Unrealized dreams are like eggs, still in their comfort zone. You must recognize your dreams and gifts as having the potential to be realized. You must believe that they can' be' someday and must not neglect nurturing them as such. It's like incubating an egg. The hen sends a message of warmth, care and hope to the eggs, and the chicks find in these the strength to hatch. I'm not sure that's precisely how it works scientifically...but hey! Its is my theory.

You must learn to think of the intangible as tangible to pull them into existence. Your dreams are a blueprint of your future which must be envisaged and related with. The tongue has made the world's greatest impossibilities possible. So why don't you explore that god-like capability embedded in you? And if you're dumb, like literally (no hard feelings), you can communicate with your eggs through your thoughts and actions...believe me, they can hear soundless voices.

So my point is,
Eggs in ovaries can eventually become human,
Shelled eggs can turn to be chicks,
Nothing has turned to be the world
And your dreams can turn to be the next you.
Talk to the eggs!!!... whatever they are.

Btw, yesterday I loosened my hair and I loved what i saw.. My real hair is near natural and I love it's bounce. So i rocked my natural afro like never before and I almost lost my voice saying 'thank you'  to compliments. Here are a few pictures I took.
P.S: Stop with the incessant use of hair relaxers and stuff... Excessive use of hair chemicals is bad for hair growth and health. Expect a post on DIY tips for the hair.










xoxo,
Nazzy