Sunday, July 20, 2014

EVEN WHEN WORDS AREN'T ENOUGH...

 

I just graduated from the university and once more, I had to deal with farewells and parting words that I dread so much. Knowing that I may never see some people who had become vital parts of my life is hard but the strength of these relationships lie in finding the "good" in the goodbyes.
I read a heartfelt letter written by a friend (whose picture is above) and just couldn't stop smiling. Goodbyes don't erase memories neither do they destroy great friendships.
Have a good read


I spent 1,460 days wondering what it would feel like on the last day but it was nothing I had imagined. As I walked down to my hostel after my unending parole my heart started to clamp together and air became heavier to suck in. Tola Omotosho's voice rang in my head "keep it together, curb your shit". I wanted to run back and hold him but I couldn't because the courtesy officer had pitifully given us five more minutes to say our goodbyes. A sister just had to keep it together. Memories of the last four years ran through my head in a flash; it felt like yesterday. Even my first day in Bowen felt like it happened a few hours ago.

All I could think about were my family. This family includes people I would ordinarily call a bunch of crazy friends.  There’s Adesewa Adebisi; I actually thought we were going to be best friends. We didn't even get to say a proper goodbye. I know we had our differences, but I love you and I wish you well. My Olamide Fadairo; my boss, my sister, my popular gingo, you will always remain my MAIN BITCH...I love you babe. Tejumade Adekola; my negress, my partner in crime, I love you sugar. Yinka Amokeodo: my friendship, my sister, my school daughter, I love you to babe. Tobi Ogunfidodo; my G, my sister I love you too. To my best friend Adelani Damilola; my ride or die bitch, my padi padi (even though I didn't know when u left school), all our fights from chapel to the hostel, the tears, the “I will never talk to you again" *in Sewa's voice*, the make ups and the breakups, the fun days will all be missed. I swear you guys are the real MVP. I love you all!!!

LOL… I can't believe am laughing through my tears. I guess “goodbyes” help you understand, appreciate and remind you of how important the things, moments, laughter, hugs, conversations, togetherness and the tears that we took for granted are. It helps us realize the importance of our existence as human beings...  
My other family: Gbemisola Akinyosoye; my birthday mate, my G. We didn't have all the four years together but the little time we had made up for the lost time.  Amarachi my sugar banana, I will miss u G and I will always be your "princess". Tola Omotosho, I love you and that is true bae. *plenty homo* Chinye dear, I love you. Aderanti Tejuosho, I love you princess! Enitan  AKA Ant hill, we didn’t have all of the four years but I thank you for the mermorable days. I love you B.

Shout out to my real niggas; Akin Ajobo, my “Mr. Sophisticated” I will miss you. Olumide my blood, my first major Bowen crush -bad for me he was dating Gbemisola and the love was strong so a sister didn’t have a choice but to support the couple. I was a real fan though- I love you brother. Tolu Jimoh my fine ass nigga, my gay nigga, I will miss you. Mr. Nyf my robot hugger, I love you. Lexy and Anudavis, I will miss you guys too!

This is for SIR AKALA 1 (soon to be LORD AKALA *in Enitan Ant Hill's voice*). Lol. I just burst his brains... I know pips be expecting me to define what we are- the likes of Gbemisola , Amara, Sewa, Ranti and co- but I’m sorry to burst your bubble guys. I don’t know what we are but I like where we are going. One thing I know is that he takes care of me, keeps me company, listens to me, holds me when I need to be held, Kisses my pains away, buys me Ribena (don’t judge me;  Ribena kids are happy kids), compliments me, notices me, understands my silence, makes me happy, respects my space, and thinks I’m the craziest, most adorable human being. The list could go on for years. He makes me laugh and above all, kept it real with me. So people, you can now do the math. But if u asked me, I might say "Definition is over-rated"; it is a thing of the heart and what matters are the things you feel. I Heart You Baby!! 

To my baby Adewole Damola; my number one fan, my baby, my love, I will miss you bae. To Ibukun Ogini; I wish I knew you a long time before now. God bless your heart angel. And my Moyo Olaleye, my tutor for days; even though she's didn’t take the course, she would study it just to explain it to me. She is a real G. I love you girl.

To BABBS,  my academic family; for four years the likes of Omosigo, Sharon baby, Ola, Mr. Dice  (don’t worry, add more inches to your height then we’d talk about that one night stand), Shevy aka star boy/poor boy (you and I know your account balance " winks"), Tolu  Okuwobi (my first fam in the department... My brother for days... Bestie of density) made my stay awesome. I love u guys. Gbeminiyi my class rep, Morade, Shade, Deola, Tope, Funmi, Busayo, Karen, Victor, Funmi, Mayowa, Tutu and Nike, the three Dami's, Joy, Jesuntomi, the two Kemi's, Oiza, Wunmi, Sesan Miller, Fisayo, Doyin, Abbey, and the names I can't remember, God bless you all. 

To my lovers in other departments; Lolade Salako my honey drop, Ife, Shola, Blaise, Moyin (my Mr. Personality thank you for the shirt), Yetunde my mumsy, Okiki, Julian, Tife, Anna, Tunji, Allen , Medun (I still remember that weekend *winks* It was fun), Oluwo and kolaaa (cute something), I will miss you dearly. To all my G's and lovers, y'all know yourselves, I’ll miss you. If I didn't mention your name, I’m sorry. #behaviourofagraduate I love you still!

Now to Knight Set; 
Today, I have mixed feelings comprising of both delight and sorrow. Delight because I know how happy we are after the seemingly endless rules, exams, tests, stress, 8am classes and morning bells, we managed to survive without any casualties. Remembering your faces somehow gives me flashbacks of the many different memories with every one of you. I know we have all shared amazing memories with each other, cried on each other’s shoulders or handkerchiefs, laughed till that Coke spilled through our noses, and even argued like crazy but  I see that the bonds between us will never break and that this will be something we will always have. Our eyes slowly tearing up make me feel sad because we must say our temporary goodbyes. We have grown up together and have come to know each other as siblings but just like in most families, at some point siblings must eventually say their goodbyes.

The certificates that we receive represent success and achievements but what we must remember more is the journey that accompanied this achievements – the heartache and happiness not the first class or pass. The certificate itself is gently tucked away in the appendix of our books while the journey itself fills the pages. I could go back and reminisce all the way about the last four years but I think it’s more important to focus on where we will be in the next four years. I used to tell my roommates, "My five year plan is to find a rich man and settle down with so I wouldn't have to work".  Please SCRATCH THAT! IN FACT, IF YOU ARE NEAR ME SLAP THE FUCK OUT OF ME!  Hey, I am not saying you should marry a broke ass nigga oo. Having said that, whatever you decide to do whether it’s tailoring or fashion designing; culinary arts or makeup; law or medicine; accounting or politics; fashion or music; we must make sure the word “success” is associated with what we do. We must take good advantage of all the opportunities we stumble upon; don’t wait around for things to happen. Blair Waldorf said "Destinies are for losers. It's just a stupid excuse to wait for things to happen instead of making them happen". I never said things are going to be easy. People tend to ask themselves "what if I fail?" when they haven't even started. Yeah, so what if you fail? Dust your bum and do it again.  Zig Zagler once said  “You don’t have to be great to start but u have to start to be great". Whatever you decide to do, make sure it’s for your passion for it and not just because of the paycheck. Ok scratch that, if the pay check pays the bills fucking do it. Umm… scratch that a little. LOL. Seriously, money is not everything but money is something vital so strive to acquire it but only through honest labour. So whatever you do, do it from the heart or not at all.  We must concentrate on enhancing our future and setting great examples for those who love us and for those who look up to us. We must be the positive reflections of tomorrow. Hence our actions must make a statement and send a clear message that we are the change that everyone awaits. Nelson Mandela said "May our choice reflects our hopes and not our fears". The Great Steve Jobs said “Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most importantly, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.” 

Finally I will like to take a moment to remember our friends and course mates who left us early; Toba and Mayowa. We love you but God loves you more. Rest in peace Warriors. My fellow Knights, let us brace ourselves because the world awaits and remember that when life gives you more than you can chew, you can swallow and drink water to push it down. If life gives you more than you can stand, kneel and go before the Almighty God in prayer. Philippians Chapter 4 verse 6-7 says "Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." 
Warriors as we raise our caps "to a new beginning", stay safe, stay connected and be happy.  
Your girl,
Iwaeni Abimbola.