When you look at me,
what do you search for?
When you touch my skin,
what do you hope to feel?
When you think of me,
what do you remember?
Know this:
I am a person not an
hourglass.
I am a person not silk.
I am a person not a
fantasy.
In our world, there is
no one woman. There are women; individual women, unique women, different bodies
carrying different souls created to mirror the creator’s person- the lover, the
helper, the caretaker, the teacher…
Tell society to
redefine them; they are more than makeup, false lashes, padded bras and
hourglasses.
Tell the women to disbelieve what they have been taught; that they
are not beautiful until their waists are thin and their hair stretched. Tell
yourself you are above the insecurities that bind you tight.
You might have heard
this before. Perhaps, you might have said it yourself but do you believe that
you are enough? Do you really believe that there is nothing to be ashamed of?
Virtually every woman
has some part of her body she is insecure about. It may be the ears they’ve
called “big” or the extra full lips or even your muscular tummy. Let me tell
you about “Beautifulness”. It is a
feeling that accompanies belief in you as a carrier of a great measure of
beauty. The moment you believe that there is beauty in you, you will glow with
confidence and people, either intentionally or not, will believe you as well. Being
beautiful is an art. You study yourself, you discover what is unconventional
about your body (note that I did not say ugly), decide whether or not it should
stay (In conformation with the lifestyle you find ideal for yourself), discover
the features that are most striking or gorgeous and hone them. Do not dwell on
your imperfections; accept them, treat them like patients that get better with
care and tell them they are beautiful anyways. That is why those muscular “hot
instagram moms” are called sexy while Obioma the maid who isn’t half as
muscular is called “yam legs”. It is in the impression and expression.
I have been there. That
world made up of me, standing alone with mesh walls surrounding me. Mesh walls
made from wires of insecurity and lies that I had listened to and accepted as
my story. But one day, I kicked down the wall and walked away. Today, those
liars come to me with the truth, the truth I had already told myself and
believed. They come seeing the real me, the one I want them to see because in
their eyes lie the reflection of how I feel about myself.
I am not tall and while it
used to be an instrument to taunt me years before, I now get compliments about
being cute and portable and confident because that’s exactly how I feel about
it. It is funny how I have a lot of people call my lips sexy and full and
blabla when in secondary school, it was the first thing I’d get teased about.
For some reason, I have that kinda athletic body that people go to the gym to
get. So while, it’s not perfectly shaped like an hourglass, I remind myself
that it is beautiful and strong and is the only vessel that’ll hold my insides
together so gracefully. I remind myself that mannequins and magazine covers are
not bodies of people but are illusions that cause people to neglect how unique
each feature is as it marries the rest of the body to produce you. Your body
belongs to a person; one who has habits, problems, feelings, goes through
childbirth, gets stressed out and craves the wrong pleasures sometimes. So give
it a break from all that shame, neglect, strain.
I saw a picture that
showed off different body shapes for ladies; the figure 8, A-shape, I-shape and
T-shape. Each time, I told somebody that there were anything but the “8”, they
got mad or a little withdrawn or even defensive. They’d rather be told a lie
than believe and see the truth about themselves. It was funny to me because as
soon as I saw the picture, I knew I knew where I fell and I was happy to point
it out.
Sweethearts, never be
embarrassed because you’re not busty or as hippy as the hippo in Madagascar
(the anime). Never feel lesser than the girl beside you because your eyebrows
are too full; I mean, why do they line them to be wide if they wanted their
brows scanty or empty? Never apologize because your ears are too wide apart
(whatever that means). Care for your body without hating any part of it.
Conceal what needs to be concealed, enhance what needs to be enhanced, reveal
what needs to be revealed and even eliminate what needs to be gone but never
beat yourself up over any part of it. Be comfortable in your skin. Go without
makeup sometimes; plainness doesn’t bite. Take walks in comfortable clothing;
waist trainers and padded bums are not your birthmark.
Please note that I am
not against healthy lifestyles and makeup etc. On the contrary, they are the
tools that help us stay beautiful but be sure that you indulge in the things in
the things you do for the right reasons and that you’re not burning yourself
out or living a fake life just because. In fact, find out what beauty and work
out routines you ought to adopt, the kind of clothing that suits your body
type, the right way to make up in accordance to your unique features and
embrace a healthy diet.
It would not be
complete if I didn’t tell you that as God’s beloved, you are a reflection of
him. Do not insult that privilege by conforming to anything lesser than that.
Do you know that your love for God reflects on you? You cannot love God
wholeheartedly and despise any gift he has bestowed upon you. In other words,
in loving God, we learn to love ourselves the right way and manifest his
fullness here on earth. There is a depth of wonder you reek of when you
perceive yourself in the light of God’s word. Being an African woman can ONLY
be a gift. Any limitation you see is the scheme of the devil targeted at
reducing the content made available to you by God to manifest his glory.
Stay beautiful.
Xoxo,
Nazzy
