BOWEN HARAM

I have been thinking of a more dramatic way to start this post but I think the tale itself is laced with enough drama. I am still shocked that what took place within the last 24 hrs was even a possibility. History was made today when the students of a missionary private university in Nigeria, Bowen University, Iwo, rioted and destroyed property in the school premises. Stories are better heard from the horse’s mouth right? Well, I am the horse because I am a student of the university.

Last night at about 9pm, I was happily chewing on my chocolate parago at a friend’s fiancée’s party when I heard from someone that boys were rioting at their hostels. Before we could wrap our heads around that, there was news of broken windows, car windshields, furniture etc. The group of students moved the demonstration to the main campus where most of the girls reside and began the demolition of shops and merchandise. Come and see free drinks ooo. Some girls all rushed out to witness it all while the rest who were locked in their hostels contributed with screams and songs like “solidarity for ever…” Classrooms and labs were also broken into and vandalized. All the cars and buildings at the administrative block were also vandalized. Eventually, at almost midnight, the cops were called to calm the situation down which they did with tear gas. However, the situation was not totally put to rest since there was still some unrest even up to 3am.

From all I have gathered, the students seem fed up with all the old and ‘new’ rules and according to them, unnecessary constraints associated with the new government. Lately, these university students have been made to adopt a feeding timetable that conflicts with their class schedules, thus adversely affecting their nutrition. I suppose a hungry man is an angry man. They have also been made to compulsorily take food flasks to cafeterias if food would be sold to them. All the previously existing rules seemed to be stiffened. Yesterday, news sprouted about new rules which included that all students should leave the hostels by 8am and return by 4pm, whether or not they have classes. Meanwhile the cafeterias must not accommodate them unless it’s their ‘mealtime’. Where are these students supposed to stay? Under the sun? Another rumor also came up about a suspected increment in the school fees. “What happened to the #540,000+?” they asked. I also heard one about ‘D’, ‘E’ and ‘F’ grades all amounting to a carry-over. In short, I’d say the explosion was caused by stored up anger and frustration on the part of the students. The students have complained of a whole lot of unfavorable conditions and treatments all to no avail. They probably just needed the additional lack of light and water for 4 days to trigger it.

As early as 6am, all students trooped out to the main campus to feed their eyes as well as negotiate with the school authority on the release of some students who were arrested as well as convey their grievances. The dialogue was unfavorable, hence, the continuation of the protest and even a little more vandalism. The students refused to stop saying that they would not back down until their peers who were arrested are released. The whole thing stretched out till about 3pm when the school management passed a memo saying that the school was to be closed down temporarily till further notice, and that all students should leave the campus effective immediately. Unfortunately, I think those students are yet to be released.

So my people, that’s how I landed in Ibadan. Honestly, I never believed that Bowenites (the generation changers) would ever gather the liver to even complain out loud let alone riot and destroy stuff. I guess the highest form of madness is born by anger. Someone may say that violence isn’t always the answer; while I agree with that, I think that the students had to prove a point and since diplomacy had failed them in times past, took the laws into their hands. We all know how youths can be. Again, while I feel that vandalism and violence are not ideal, I also think that these private schools should be responsive to the yearnings of the students and should cut down on the unnecessary rules and constraints. These students are human and are grown ass adults so while they mean to teach and discipline them, some respect would do. Feed a man till his too full and he just might puke on you.

The English don too much. Fact is, I never experience this kain tin for my life. It was really a once-in-a-lifetime experience. I don’t mean to sound like I enjoyed it all but man……it was exciting.  If I had graduated before this event, I for just dey see pix on dp, dey read am for Linda Ikeji’s blog. Good timing ey? Lol. So today, our omo mummies turned omo ghetto. One thing I can say for sure is that nobody saw this coming. Not the school, not even the students. Today was supposed to be ‘cultural day’ with suya night to make things pop. I was even supposed to open the evening service with a prayer in Igbo *pops collar* Na wa oo. The generation changers sure triggered a revolution. We hope things are put under control soon so that the students can resume and continue with their studies.

Here are some pictures that will give you a LITTLE idea of what went down at BUI today.

YOU CAME AFTER I LEFT

For the seventh time, my terribly loud ringtone pierces through my bubble of quiet.

With firm resolve I reject the call and fight the tears straining to be let out.

What I can't fight are the memories.

They haunt me like the excerpts from a bloody nightmare.

I float on the clouds of my past back to where I'm coming from.

Like in the movies, I was the ragdoll...

The one who was constantly told "He's not just that into you"

But like a magnet to an iron pin, I couldn't stay away.

So my heart was your playpen

I gave everything you asked for... And more.

I was your bungee cable... I caught you each time you fell but you just bounced right off me, every time.

I saw what everyone else didn't see.

I saw promise and hope for you, but maybe it was all a mirage.

Every night, I walked into your dreams and begged you to see me but you ignored me just as you would if you saw me in the hallway, the next morning.

But it was okay because one day, you'd be quiet enough to hear me out.

You had my shoulders for when you needed to cry.

You had my hands for when you needed to be held.

You had my eyes for when you needed a mirror to see your reflection.

You had my heart for when you needed to pretend.

You had me for when you needed a china doll...

And you broke me.

So now, I'm different....everything you want but will never have.

I'm on my way to newness and I won't look back.

I couldn't wait no more.

Its a shame you came after I left.

Right now, all you are is an echo from a distance calling out to me.

That's all you'll ever be.

And I'm not sorry about that.

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xoxo,

Nazzy

Remember Me!!!

Hello beautiful people,
I wrote this on FRIDAY, 18th January 2013. Hope you enjoy reading it.... Umm...I might have added some sugar. :D


Its funny, how we don't wanna relate with strangers when we are pretty much strangers to ourselves. Maybe its me but sometimes, it gets that awkward.
I think i know myself until i do something really unexpected and start to ask myself with a raised eyebrow 'Was that really you?'. I didn't think it was a big deal till i had to fill a slum book and spent about an hour staring at the "About Yourself" section.... I know what you wanna say. *Covers face*

I hate how i lose track of myself sometimes..
Who forgets who they are? Who thinks for hours before they can answer the question "Who are you?"?
I think the truth is that nobody's got it all figured out. And sometimes, you need a whisper in your ears, reminding you of who you really are.

So take pictures, make videos, record moments, capture memories, write down your thoughts and save your words in the hearts of those who love you. One day, you might them to save the day.
The photo albums will tell your story,
The videos will show how you lived,
The memories will keep you at ease
And the words you saved in the hearts of loved ones will spring forth and revive you.

So for the records, here are some things you might wanna know about me....
- I cry for practically every movie I see...including 'Ramona and Beezus' so stop me anytime. On an occasion, My friend even took her laptop away and asked me to leave her room.
- I haven't broken my touch barrier. I can't tolerate being lapped. That has to be the most uncomfortable thing you'll have me do.
- I'm so scared of heights. I dread climbing stairs. Pedestrian bridges literally raise my blood pressure and all the goose bumps beneath my skin break free.
- I think I'm a really nice person... Half of my friends say I'm wrong though. #PrettyLittleLiars
- I can't taste honey; I'll get nauseous on the spot.
- I take so much milk; cows are probably planning to take public revenge on me. I'm lucky they are not carnivores.
- I'm a hopeless romantic. My heart skips a beat and my tummy gets this weird sensation when I see a romantic scene. This feeling has never missed any roll call. And hey! I used to have pictures of kissing scenes from every movie i had...Call me crazy!
- Bad breaths and body odor creep me out. On meeting anyone, One of the first things I do is try to get a good view of the insides of his mouth. Just playing safe. *Covers face*
- I pray everyday to have a wonderful love story... The angels will be startled if they didn't hear me say that in a day.
- I have a strong dislike for gender victimization. My blog post titled 'My Sex, My Cross' covered this aspect.
- I think of life beyond here everyday.

*Clears throat*
I'll leave you to digest this. I must say that this is just the tip of the iceberg. I'm more amazing than this; you'll hear the rest soon. *wide grin*
So I'm just tryna say you should know who you are, do all you can to preserve 'you' and live your life to the fullest.
A friend once said to me "Do not regret anything that ever made you smile". . .

xoxo,
Nazzy

PARA-PLEADING

My darling readers,

       Thanks for answering to this summon… I know you did cuz you’re reading this. I’ll skip all the pleasantries cuz no be everyday lover go dey mood. You’ll have to look at this on two planes. Its either you see this as ‘para’ or as ‘pleading’. Yeah!

       Unto more vital monologues…. I am tired of this one-sided flow. It takes two to tango but lately, I don dey dance alone. When I started this blog, y’all used to come and comment and I always had this grin plastered to my face. Now my grin is gone. Why? Because y’all don’t drop me comments anymore. Yes, that’s why. *straight face*

       Don’t get me wrong; lately, my traffic feed has had an awesome boost but then y’all just come, read and go. Let me expatiate:

      It’s like a wife being hot and all dolled-up every night without giving oga some sugar…… YES!

      It’s like a car having a tank full of fuel but having no oil. How you wan make e take move?

      It’s like attending a wedding without giving the couple a gift… Yes, they’ll be happy you came but the hall and the rice wey you chop na money. Everything na business oo.

      It’s like giving my late dog, Sashi, bones. She loved bones but she’d always preferred a good layer of flesh over the bones.

      It’s like giving a vampire a blood bag. All na blood but they’d rather have a warm creamy dose from your neck.

      It’s like having a 10/10 in a quiz without having the teacher write ‘very good’ or ‘outstanding’ on your script.

      It’s like a blogger smiling at her traffic feed till she sees her comment box and goes like “Why did they not comment naa?”

       Now that I’m done para-begging, I’ll just say thanks to all my readers. This is a new blog and despite my inconsistency because of my tight schedule (These lecturers want to kill somebody with work oo), I’ll say it’s been a success. Thanks for the visits, facebook shares, retweets and COMMENTS. They are really encouraging…. I love you guys….(But you know I have to say that so you guys would keep coming back…lol).

       Okay!!! Enough of the mushy stuff…  Kindly get your awesome self to my comment box and drop a few words.

Xoxo,

Nazzy

TaRnIsHeD

Love at first sight...
That's what he called it.
I call it blindness- temporary blindness- for in the end, he received his sight.
And then he saw me for what I really am...
What he thinks I really am.  

It was sunny and bright.
Nolan was at mama's and I was free.
Today was for me; for the 'me' I had lost.
I took a walk to the park.
The green gave me life.
The chrips were music to my ears.
The echoes of laughter were healing to my sullen state of mind.
Cold nostalgia swept over me as I walked into the arena...
That's what I call it.

Here, its an ocean of lotus and white roses.
The wind brags as my short white dress billows.
A smile works its way into my face and a moan escapes my lips...
Here, I am strengthened by the scent of purity.
Cold nostalgia washes over me as I think of Nolan and the days before him.
I immersed myself in comfort exuded from the petals..
Lost myself in the arms of mother nature.  

A shadow fell over me.
With my eyes closed, I could sense an invasion.
My haven had been troubled and my anger triggered.
I looked up to find a man staring, his mouth ajar in awe.
The pupils swirled like a whirlpool; in wonder I presume.
My anger dissipated into confusion.
Why was this creature here, looking into my soul?

That day it began.
That day passion was kindled.
That day I misunderstood.
This had to be love, in all its splendour.
When it wasn't Nolan, it was the shadow.
I opened the floodgates, and gave everything.
He was the one who would see what no other saw in me.  

Laughter filled my belly.
Poetry filled my ears.
Kisses covered my skin.
Passion blurred my vision.
In this was promise.

Tonight was for us.
As I combed through my lashes and adjusted my bow, I promised to show the last of me tonight. Nolan.
My shadow, I was sure, would see what no one saw.  

I walked into the restaurant to find him on his knee,
A ring clad with diamonds in his hand.
The strong melody of a stringed instrument bounced off the walls.
Light shone around him as darkness made a hedge around the beam.
With glistening eyes and near-exploding nerves he asked me to be his bride...
For a minute, all I could think of was Nolan.
Would he take us both?
'Yes'... I said 'yes'.
The room reverberated with claps as light ate up the darknss.
Surprises. I love them.
The world had witnessed it all.

I pulled him to a quiet corner.
"You should know something"
"What is it my love?" he asked as he kissed my face playfully.
My pulse quickened as the words clogged my throat.
I held unto faith that this would be perfect.
"I had no idea that you would propose tonight. I hoped to show you something else. Nolan. He's my son. He's a beautiful child. I..." I was interrupted by change.
He froze.
The kisses stopped and he held me still as he looked into my eyes.
It felt as though shards of ice pierced through my skin.
His touch suddenly burnt my skin.
His gaze was cold like death.
The scales fell from his eyes and he walked away.
He saw what others saw.
A tarnished woman.  

I stood there watching him and his friends talk.
Must have been about me.
I saw one shake his head and another snap his finger.
Shadow gulped down something in a glass and threw the glass on the wall.
He forbade me, Rejected me, abhorred me.
I was soiled... 'Mother of a bastard'.
His friends patted his back as he cursed the knowledge of me in regret.
A tear ran down my cheek leaving a trail of pain.
Insanity tore through me and I wailed.
I ran wildly, calling for Nolan.
Nobody cared enough to run after me.
Nolan was outside waiting for me.
I had asked a friend to hold him there.
I was supposed to bring him in after I told 'Shadow'.

I took my son in my arms and wept uncontrollably.
'Mama' he kept calling, his little hands all over my face.
They had seen a lie.
For my miracle, he saw a curse.
For my blessing, he saw a burden.
He saw everything but me;
The 'me'  worthy of love,
The 'me' he could love,
The 'me' that was true,
The 'me' he would never have.  

The ring suddenly felt like a yoke.
I pulled it off and threw it blindly into the dark night.
With it, I cast off all the pain.
I wiped my tears, kissed my son and walked away.
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We live in a society that thrives on stereotypes. An unmarried pregnant woman has to be a slut. A well groomed young man is most likely gay. We are forced align our lives with often baseless beliefs which are meant to curb decadence.
We forget that in life, things are not black or white. Some things are grey and should be treated as such. I am not making excuses for people who have careless sexual relations. I am only saying that sometimes, stories and motives differ. An unwanted baby is enough consquence. The society should cease to inflict more pain on mother and child.
People have diverse beliefs and I respect that. While you do not want to marry a single mother or father, you need not hurt them to prove that.
Recently, I was having a conversation with my mum and aunts and everyone started to dissect a young unmarried woman who recently had a baby. I had to come to her rescue, not because her actions are morally upright but because she is human and makes mistakes and has probably learnt a lesson or two. Nobody sees that she may become a more responsible person, a caretaker, a fighter, a teacher, a lover and a breadwinner.

This brings me to the question a friend asked me some weeks ago.
'Who would you rather marry: a divorcee or a single parent?'
Please drop your comments and opinions below..

xoxo,
Nazzy

THE DAY THE EARTH STOOD STILL

Bad days!

They come every now and then and rob us of our plans and fantasies. It’s funny how you make plans for a wonderful tomorrow and get handed a frustrating, awful ‘today’. Today’s just like that. I try to think of all the things that could possibly make today an almost great one but all I can think of is ‘nothing’. The irony lies in the fact that I received a promotion today. Don’t even think of me as ungrateful. Just hear me out.

I woke up with a smile on my face.

Anticipation zinged through me, awakening my nerves and the butterflies in my stomach. Owl City’s awe-inspired voice filled the air; I must have slept without turning off the music. I say my prayers quickly as I cannot afford to run late today. I love my apartment; the colors, the homey atmosphere and the scent. Somehow, it just looked more beautiful this morning. I guess promotions make life more beautiful.

I went to the bathroom to turn on the shower cuz I love my bathroom well humidified before I shower. So while the shower is doing its job, I set out to make a quick breakfast. I decide on noodles and some of the grilled chicken I had in the freezer.

With the noodles on fire and the chicken in the microwave, I return to my room to select the perfect ensemble. The navy blue blazers I got on Jumia should do the trick. I just had to find the right bottoms and shoes. I had just decided on cream pants and my maroon brogues when I smelt it. My food was burnt! I quickly dashed to the kitchen and there, was my pot of noodles all black and burnt.

No! Undaunted in the face of mishap, I turn off the cooker and move the party to the sink to clean up the mess. You think you know stubborn until you try to wash heavily burnt food off a pot. I finally give up and fill the pot with water. ‘The chicken wasn’t bad’ I decided as I ate hurriedly. Time wasn’t on my side anymore.

I was rinsing out the dishes when I heard the sound of running water from the bathroom. That’s normal right? A running shower shouldn’t quite be quiet so I make a quick run to my room to get my shower cap. On getting to the bathroom, all I could see was water. The whole was flooded. Apparently, I hadn’t shut the shower cubicle and the water had sprung directly into the room. This was becoming a bad day. I got on my knees and mopped up the water. After ten minutes of wringing a mop, I got into the shower and scalded myself. I forgot ‘again’ to regulate the temp. I made my decision; ‘This was a bad day”.

After the rushed cold shower, I dressed up as quickly as possible and spent just ten minutes on my makeup. Just so you know, that’s a world record. I grab my car keys and handbag and practically run out the door. “Ashiru, where you dey? I never tell you say I no wan dey find you if I wan comot? I go reduce your salary. Abeg open gate jare” I screamed at the poor gateman who was taking a peaceful nap for lack of work to do. Someone had to partake in the bad morning right? I was almost out of the compound when Ashiru flagged me down. “What is it?” “Madam, I no fit tell you before because you been dey para but e be like say you don dey calm down…” “Ashiru talk fast!” I interrupted impatiently. “Okay ma. Your dress get stain for back. E be like paint. E no good at all”. At this point, all the fluid in my body rush to my eyes. I let the tears fall. What kind of morning was this?

I drove back in and quickly rummaged through my wardrobe to find something new…something worthy of a promotion. I found a dark green dress which I paired with cream court shoes and a briefcase. I quickly turned the contents of my bag into the box and ran wildly to my car after locking up. I had driven for ten minutes when I took a look at my dashboard. The pin of the fuel indicator (I hope that’s what it’s called) was oscillating towards the ‘E’. I was practically out of fuel. I shook my head frantically. I had to believe what had left would take me to work. For Pete’s sake, it had to. I started chanting what I hoped was a prayer. As soon as my office building was in view, I worked up a smile. Things were starting to look up. I hoped aloud that the meeting would not have started. Just then my car jerked once, and again. I quickly pulled up to the curb before it gave up. I grabbed my briefcase and phones and started for the office- on foot! My pace had to be somewhere in between walking and running.

By the time I got to the building, it was ten freaking minutes past ten. Shoot! The meeting had to have started. Imagine my relief when I was told the meeting would kick off in ten. Beads o sweat broke and ran down the sides of my face as I slumped into my chair. I got my emergency make up kit and headed to the ladies for some damage control.

The meeting went well. Thank God. I hope people were not able to see through my plastic smile. After the meeting, I was fed up and angry. This supposedly great day was just plain annoying. I was exhausted and broke down in tears. My colleagues assumed I was crying ‘tears of joy’ and started taking pictures of me; something about preserving the moment. I quickly pulled myself together and excused myself. All those pats on my back had started to feel like slaps. I got downstairs, hailed a cab and asked to be taken to a very good restaurant in Victoria Island.

So yes, that’s how I got here. I am sitting alone by the window on a table for two and have successfully ignored the waitress who came to attend to me, twice. I’m trying to caution myself and remind myself that today is not one for ingratitude when a waiter interrupts my thoughts. The girl must have sent this guy to come try his luck. So I’m now the disgruntled lady who scares waitresses. “Can I take your order ma’am?” “What kind of salads do you have” I asked still staring into space. “We have a number of them. I think you should take a look at the menu” he handed me the one he was holding even though there was one on the table before me. I scanned through it absent-mindedly. “I’ll have the liver salad” I said with a half smile as I passed it back to him. “And some red wine” I added. I sure need a drink. “Coming right up” the waiter said with a smile that implied he wasn’t going to let my stone cold expression deter him. I sent him a cold glance that had him running along.

“Given your mood, I’d say you should change that order. A liver salad will leave you in worse shape” Whose this one? Why can’t people mind their businesses? I turned ready to dash out the poison on the tip of my tongue when I saw him. Calm washed over me. It was a handsome face clad in a navy blue suit and a breath-taking smile. His eyes were light brown in color and twinkled (that has to be the word). His lips mouthed something I believe would be ‘hello’. And then he moved… He moved and sat on the chair opposite mine. He was tall and dashing. He made me forget. I had been trying to feel better for hours but in less than one minute, this stranger had made me forget… Forget that I was angry and was having the worst work day ever. I had forgotten that the earth is constantly in motion because right now, everything was still and blurry except him.

I snapped back into reality as he tapped my hand. “Are you alright? I could take my leave if you’d rather be left alone.” “No…Umm…you should sit right there. I’m just fine” I was admiring his haircut. “Okay then. That’s a good start.” He said with a smile. For the first time after I woke up, I smiled genuinely. I had seen many things and had felt so much today but for a split second, it felt as though the earth stood still…as though everything was just great so yes, that’s a good start.

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I hope you smiled at some point.

xoxo,

Nazzy

Final Year Midnight Tales

Its a beautiful Sunday night... Technically, it's a Monday morning, and while a host of normal people have their end-of-the-weekend sleep, I am up reading a perfectly tough course. Yes, I'm writing exams at the moment. Fun way to start my year!

I don't know who to blame... I have completed only the first chapter of my research project. Don't look at me like that. Its not that I'm lazy... maybe I am sometimes but here's the deal: My supervisor freaking put me on hold. Told me not to start the next chapter till she approved the first. I waited patiently, expecting my file back with a nicely written 'excellent job! Move to the next chapter'. Well, I got a handful of scribbles on each page which all boil down to redoing the chapter. And she deemed it fit to ask us to let her be till 2014. The lady is just diligent. Since I think it's her fault, I wonder why I ran and hid behind my friend when I almost bumped into her.
P.S- My friends are the type who have have finished their chapter 3 and keep talking about how they'll be done in a bit. Why would they do that to me? Talk about adding salt to injury. I'm happy for them but I'd rather be happy with them. *coughs*

I think I'm under a spell. I can't seem to stop talking about and craving weddings. Someone called me pathetic yesterday when she found out that I'm single. Biko tell her I'm normal; blame the society. As a girl, you're just programmed to start thinking marriage in your final year; whether or not you're ready. Bellanaijaweddings is my new fave iG page. All my friends are tired of hearing me say "Go and marry naa. Don't you want me to do asoebi this year?" It's not like I'm ready to get married or anything. Its more like...Truthfully, I have nothing to say in my defense. Blame my mum who won't let me rest with her incessant 'Early Marriages Are The Best' lectures. You don't even want to know about my cousin who is trying to hook me up with every medical doctor in Ibadan. She goes around promising them that I'll definitely give my consent and become their 'Mrs' as soon as I graduate. Stories that touch the left breast! Smh

I'm an over thinker, I think. Its still a couple of months to graduation and I already have the emotional 'how will my life be without my friends' moments. But really, this get-to-know-people-and-get-to-part-ways-almost-immediately business is getting old. Sometimes you look forward to the fresh start but then, are fresh starts really fresh?

Do you know how many final year events I have to attend this semester? I just pity dads this semester. The amount they'll spend on new dresses and accessories will probably be enough to start a building foundation. The joys of fatherhood! Is it easy to make your father a 'papa graduate'? Biko everything is business. Let them pay for the title jor.Lol. Still tryna figure out how to tax daddy as nicely as possible... Dear kids, don't over do it. As you can see, I consider my own parents before taxing them.

Hey! I saw one ultra cute dude today. Twas like in the movies. Lemme not even start with you guys. Finally it didn't matter cuz he is in his second year. Please don't tell me about emotional maturity. In these private unis, that's like an ss3 chic being with an js3 boy. *fast forward to the end*

So my business here is finished. I just didn't like that my blog was lying fallow... I hate to abandon you guys. Have I told you how much I love you guys? Forget that I don't know you on personal terms, you guys rock my world. I had to steal some time from my by-force sleep-combating I-must-make-an-A midnight prep time but you guys make it all worth it.
Ok Bye!
Wish me the best in my exams.... I need the best!

xoxo,
Nazzy