YOU CAME AFTER I LEFT

For the seventh time, my terribly loud ringtone pierces through my bubble of quiet.

With firm resolve I reject the call and fight the tears straining to be let out.

What I can't fight are the memories.

They haunt me like the excerpts from a bloody nightmare.

I float on the clouds of my past back to where I'm coming from.

Like in the movies, I was the ragdoll...

The one who was constantly told "He's not just that into you"

But like a magnet to an iron pin, I couldn't stay away.

So my heart was your playpen

I gave everything you asked for... And more.

I was your bungee cable... I caught you each time you fell but you just bounced right off me, every time.

I saw what everyone else didn't see.

I saw promise and hope for you, but maybe it was all a mirage.

Every night, I walked into your dreams and begged you to see me but you ignored me just as you would if you saw me in the hallway, the next morning.

But it was okay because one day, you'd be quiet enough to hear me out.

You had my shoulders for when you needed to cry.

You had my hands for when you needed to be held.

You had my eyes for when you needed a mirror to see your reflection.

You had my heart for when you needed to pretend.

You had me for when you needed a china doll...

And you broke me.

So now, I'm different....everything you want but will never have.

I'm on my way to newness and I won't look back.

I couldn't wait no more.

Its a shame you came after I left.

Right now, all you are is an echo from a distance calling out to me.

That's all you'll ever be.

And I'm not sorry about that.

......................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................

xoxo,

Nazzy