For the
seventh time, my terribly loud ringtone pierces through my bubble of quiet.
With firm
resolve I reject the call and fight the tears straining to be let out.
What I
can't fight are the memories.
They haunt
me like the excerpts from a bloody nightmare.
I float on
the clouds of my past back to where I'm coming from.
Like in
the movies, I was the ragdoll...
The one
who was constantly told "He's not just that into you"
But like a
magnet to an iron pin, I couldn't stay away.
So my
heart was your playpen
I gave
everything you asked for... And more.
I was your
bungee cable... I caught you each time you fell but you just bounced right off
me, every time.
I saw what
everyone else didn't see.
I saw
promise and hope for you, but maybe it was all a mirage.
Every
night, I walked into your dreams and begged you to see me but you ignored me
just as you would if you saw me in the hallway, the next morning.
But it was
okay because one day, you'd be quiet enough to hear me out.
You had my
shoulders for when you needed to cry.
You had my
hands for when you needed to be held.
You had my
eyes for when you needed a mirror to see your reflection.
You had my
heart for when you needed to pretend.
You had me
for when you needed a china doll...
And you
broke me.
So now,
I'm different....everything you want but will never have.
I'm on my
way to newness and I won't look back.
I couldn't
wait no more.
Its a
shame you came after I left.
Right now,
all you are is an echo from a distance calling out to me.
That's all
you'll ever be.
And I'm
not sorry about that.
......................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................
xoxo,
Nazzy
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