DaRk sMiLeS

I see the antithesis...
I know the irony yet I'm the practicality.
It's not denial and its not a lie,
It's a struggle and it's a wish.
Pain locks your jaws against laughter and the sadness hides your insanity
And amidst the recurring tragedy called 'your life',
Only heroes like us find the will to smile.

Leaning on nothing,
Believing in the non-existent,
These are steps you must take to finding you
Only sometimes, these lessons are just too hard to take in.

This is my story:
Everyday, I strive to walk past that dog into the light I see...
Every new year, I pray the last page will hold a different tale...
Every month, I pray I don't have to pray this no more...
But somehow, some things have stayed constant.

Hell!
I am not ungrateful for everyday, I seize the time to sing, dance, talk and pray
And I take the time to smile just to disappoint my problems because as dark as the smile may seem, it is what it is.
The import of the joy I seek to express is an illusion...at first
But then, it spreads through me like a cancer as it becomes reality,
And that stir of hope becomes a light that darkness cannot comprehend.
The fog is lifted and pure joy remains...
And then I fight not to reach the light I see because in me, it has its place.

Let more tell you why I take my time to smile:
It's the start of happiness and the end of sadness.
It's infectious, protective and illuminating.
It's a shield in a war of emotions.
It's the lie told by a failing heart but the truth told by the healing one.
No matter how pained or toothless you are, every smile brings a ray of hope and a ripple effect, no matter how little.
Only let it come from your heart and not just be on your lips.

I may not live in abundance
But everyday that passes comes with enough for me
And maybe all He deserves is my gratitude because I am never without.
The smiles of the happy are a ritual
But it's the dark ones that are potent enough to save you;
The outcomes of your hope, faith and gratitude.





-For my parents and I

xoxo,
Nazzy